Topic: Schizoid Personality Disorder

[W7RE]

Schizoid personality disorder(SPD) is a personality disorder characterized by a lack of interest in social relationships, a tendency towards a solitary lifestyle, secretiveness, and emotional coldness. SPD is reasonably rare compared with other personality disorders. Its prevalence is estimated at less than 1% of the general population.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schizoid

Criteria (schizoids will have at least 4 of the following):

-Emotional coldness, detachment or reduced affection.
-Limited capacity to express either positive or negative emotions towards others.
-Consistent preference for solitary activities.
-Very few (if any) close friends or relationships, and a lack of desire for such.
-Indifference to either praise or criticism.
-Taking pleasure in few, if any, activities.
-Indifference to social norms and conventions.
-Preoccupation with fantasy and introspection.
-Lack of desire for sexual experiences with another person. (only one that doesn't fit me)

I started going to a therapist a few weeks back, and today I saw the Psychiatrist. After looking at the notes from the previous visits with the therapist, and our session today, this as her diagnosis. I have an appointment Wednesday with a different therapist at the same practice, one who has experience dealing with SPD. (The other therapist I saw said she had only seen one other SPD in her 17 years in mental health, so didn't have as much experience as the other guy.)

I was also given a 3 week sample of Wellbutrin, which will possibly motivate me to go out and do more activities, and maybe help me to get out and interact with other people more. It's still assumed that I will get some kind of job where I can work alone, or with the same small social group and not interact with a public. These drugs will never "fix" me, but may help me to interact socially more than I do now, and help me to move on with my life.

From the list of criteria above, the only one that doesn't fit me is the lack of desire for sexual experiences. I have had trouble with that, but not due to lack of desire. I guess it's just part of me not liking to be around people until I can get to know them. Maybe also some hesitation in any situation that could lead to physical intimacy, probably caused from the sexual abuse from my sister when I was 5 or so.

Oh and apparently me downloading videos of real people really being killed is perfectly fine, as long as I don't feel the desire to do it myself. The psychiatrist said that's probably me just finding a way to feel something, to feel alive, since I described my mindset after watching such things as "I'm glad to be alive".




Anyway, I just figured since I finally have an answer for what I could never put my finger on before, I'd share with you guys. I've known some of you for a long time, and I know I've posted several times before about my situation, and wanted answers. Well now I have them. It's not gonna change who I am, but it will help me live my life despite it. I was gonna post a few weeks ago, but I wanted to wait until I got an official diagnosis.

[TheOtherBelmont]

That's good to hear that you went to a therapist, I don't agree with some parts of the diagnosis, but this is based off my own judgements of when you weren't living with your parents and with me, so who knows.  Hopefully, you can get motivated to get out of there sometime in the future.  If you ever wanted to, you could move down here where I live (San Marcos which is about 20 mins from Austin) and we could find you a job, its a college town so there is always someone hiring, I know its a long shot but just throwing that out there.

[Quemaqua]

Well, I'm glad you're trying something, and I hope this avenue turns out to be what works for you.  I've always thought you were a decent guy and it sucked you had to go through so much crap, especially that which was self-inflicted.  I think the key thing is finding the motivation, and then other things tend to work themselves out at least to some degree on their own, so I hope this takes care of that base problem... because if you can at least make some headway there, I'm betting a lot of other things will benefit.

In any case, good luck, man.  I'm glad you still keep in touch with us from time to time.

[W7RE]

Well, one thing I recall reading about SPD is that while you may not be confortable interacting with other people, and you may not know how to react immotionally to them, you try to fake it. You pretend to listen, you pretend to care, and some people do it so well that they never end up seeing a psychiatrist at all. It's quite possible that you just didn't see some of it because I hid it well. I am quite a bit more shut off now that I was when I lived out there, thanks to my family situation. But I still had times when someone would come over to my apartment and I would pretend to sleep or to not be home, just beause I would rather spend the afternoon alone than go hang out, even with the people I enjoyed being around.

Remember when I moved out of our place to get a smaller apartment by myself? My reasoning was "I don't know, I just want to live alone." It drove me crazy having you around all the time, but I didn't want to tell you that. I had no problem hanging out with you once I moved out. It was just that I like to sit around alone sometimes, which to me felt normal, and now I understand why you didn't realize it.

Thanks Que. By the way, I'm around a lot more often than it seems. I just rarely post. I have OW.net on my Opera shortcut bar, and usually click it 2-3 times a day.

[Cobra951]

How does one know that those symptoms come from an innate condition, and not a reaction to a longterm difficult existence?  The reason I ask is that several of those bullet points apply to me, but they're a fairly recent experience.  It's like emotion has gotten numbed way down, although sometimes it does bounce back.

Wellbutrin?  I'll have to make a note of that, and check it out.  I have heard of it.  I think someone suggested it to me once.

I hope the diagnosis and treatments really help you out.  Keep us posted.  Good luck.

[TheOtherBelmont]

Remember when I moved out of our place to get a smaller apartment by myself? My reasoning was "I don't know, I just want to live alone." It drove me crazy having you around all the time, but I didn't want to tell you that. I had no problem hanging out with you once I moved out. It was just that I like to sit around alone sometimes, which to me felt normal, and now I understand why you didn't realize it.

Well, then the last year or so I talked/hung out with you in Phoenix makes sense then, Shaun and I were always wondering what the hell was going on and why it was so hard to get you out of the house, we thought WoW had sucked you in completely but I guess it was a combination of the SPD and WoW.  Anyways, feel free to IM me when I'm on Trillian man, I've been trying to get on more often.

[nickclone]

How does one know that those symptoms come from an innate condition, and not a reaction to a longterm difficult existence?  The reason I ask is that several of those bullet points apply to me, but they're a fairly recent experience.  It's like emotion has gotten numbed way down, although sometimes it does bounce back.

Wellbutrin?  I'll have to make a note of that, and check it out.  I have heard of it.  I think someone suggested it to me once.

I hope the diagnosis and treatments really help you out.  Keep us posted.  Good luck.

They don't know, they can take your blood to help rule stuff out, but they need spinal fluid to confirm what you have. Of course, they'll never take your spinal fluid because one false move could result in paralysis. All they can really do is guess, guess what type of meds you should take and guess how much. I used to take wellbutrin and I had to mess around with the dose to get the desired effect (don't be afraid to do so as well if your current dose isn't working). Unfortunately, it takes about two weeks for wellbutrin to take effect, you'll probably need more pills to see if they work for you or not.

[W7RE]

Yea, the Psychiatrist told me that it could take a week or two to feel any effects from the Wellbutrin, and I may even need a larger dosage because I'm a bigger guy. I'm starting on 150mg, then moving on to 300mg later if that's ineffective.

A lot of the symptoms that I have I've had for as long as I can remember. I always thought I was just shy, but I somehow felt different from my brother, who is indeed shy, and scared of people. That's just one example. Also, SPD is supposed to be hereditary. So unless you've had if for a while and just never realized it, it would probably be classified as something else.

[gpw11]

Good to see you're still around.  I'd trade Tet and Ren for you any day.