And you know what's the fucking worst? That 'Ask A Gay Man' series that used to be on there and shown on clips on TV. Great, way to be a giant 2 dimensional stereotype. And what the fuck makes you think you can tell people how they should dress or look with your fat tanning booth roasted face, stupid motherfucking haircut that probably cost a hundred dollars, a tight ass pink shirt you bought in the little girls section at Hot Topic that make your arms look tiny and your bitch tits look huge, and your trendy ass euro jeans? "Hey bitches, go spend money on clothes because that's what's important when you need to distract people from the facts that you're ugly as fuck and you're basically a cartoon character."
You want fashon advice, here it is:
Never pay more than $20 for a shirt unless it's a dress shirt, sweater, or has some utility. Otherwise you're just pissing money away on something of equal quality with a label no one gives a fuck about and you shouldn't if you're at all well adjusted.
Buy dark jeans. That way no one will notice when someone spills their rum and coke on your leg and you can probably wear them the next day without washing them. They fade eventually anyways.
Triple fucking stitching.
You only need a few pairs of shoes, and each one has a specific purpose. Sandles, dress shoes, work shoes (if they're not dress shoes), regular shoes of your choice, one old pair of shoes, cleats, and running shoes. That means if you're a guy - gay or straight you only have those pairs of footwear and only one of each. That's a fucking theoretical maximum and you sshouldn't approach that number. Ideally you should be able to consolodate that down. The only acceptable excuse is if you really need two pairs of dress shoes for work, there are some other specialty shoes you need, or you hate throwing shit out and have like 12 pairs of old shoes lying around somewhere in ratty condition. The main thing is that you can't have a pair of shoes for each day of the week and throw them out when there's a bit of wear...that's just wastefull. Once your feet starts hitting concrete or your toes are visible is when you get rid of them...no sooner.
Never pay more than $20 for a haircut. Also, never take more than 20 min. for a haircut. If you're thinking about frosting your tips don't...just speed up the inevitable and cut off your balls before you kill yourself.
Man purses are just stupid. What the fuck are you carrying that you need a man purse for? Girls have purses because they have huge ass keychains, makeup, massive wallets they spend too much money on and don't want to put in their pocket because it makes their ass look weird, and whacked girl stuff. IF you're a guy and you can't put it in your pocket you don't take it with you unless it goes in your car, gym bag, or backpack. You don't need a man purse, and if you convince yourself you do then there's something wrong with tour thought process.
At least once a month you have to go to Old Navy and drop $5 on a package of two really tight plain white shirts. You have to write something rad on them with a jiffy marker and then get fucked up wearing them on two different nights. This shows people that you love to get bombed and be rad while doing it.
Hats go backwards or forwards. No inbetween unless you're really drunk and it's an accident. Brims must be curved or else you look like a total tool.
The fashion industry is built around weak people with low self esteem, low self worth, no observational abilities, and poor decision making skills. Why the fuck would you not only advertise that you buy into it but also are proud of that?
Shit....I did it again.
