Topic: Soooo, how do you all feel about facial lacerations?

[gpw11]

See, I've got a bit of a problem here.  I was at work yesterday, doing something I shouldn't have (at the request of someone who also knew better) and it all ended up with a grinder kicking back straight into my face.  Generally, I lucked out considering the blade didn't hit me and grind my face off, although I still am generally amazed at how impossible it is to stop something with as little as 1 hp and only weighs about 10 lbs from coming back at you if it wants to.

What I'm left with is a bit of a laceration on the bridge of my nose from where the grinder smashed into my face and tore the skin off.  Generally, it looks pretty tough, but I don't know how some people are going to take to it over the next three weeks or so.  So what I need from you guys is:

1.) advice.  Any tips on making cuts and stuff go away faster?  Should I rock a nose bandage out or just let the world bear witness to my toughness and manliness? 

2.) I need stories.  This could have happened in such a cooler way that I feel the need to fuck with people's heads.  I like to throw out totally unrealistic stories for injuries and then never explain how they actually happened.  These usually make me sound like a superhero.   As I'm sitting here right now I can think of somehting like this:

"So I was walking along, pretty drunk, just minding my own buisness and trying to figure out what exactly the difference is between a porn star and a hooker.  That's when I heard the little girl scream.  I looked over and saw a man trying to pull a teenaged girl into his van.  'walk away, this will not end well for you', I told myself, but I just couldn't.   I had to run over there and try to help her.  So I ran up, jumped into the van, tackled the guy and the driver started kicking me in the ribs.  I'm rolling around in the back of the van with this guy and he's got the girl by the ankles.  blah blah  blah, we get out of the van and it takes off blah.  So she thanks me in her deep and husky voice and that's when it hits me.  It couldn't have been her that let out that scream.  As she's hugging me and my body is being shaken by the vibrations from her deep velvety voice I spy a young girl - maybe 8 or 9- looking at us, abnormally terrified.  I break the embrace and walk over to her, and kneel down on the street in front of the lawn she is perched on, frozen in fear.  'hey there little missus, what's wrong?' as the words leave my mouth I get scared...her eyes are as big as dinner plates now and there is a rustiling in the bush behind me.  That's when the cougar jumped on my back and my face smashed into the ground."

Are your pants off yet?  Because that's kind of what I'm going for here.

[beo]

my pants were already off.

but yeah, screw bandages. bandages suggest weakness, open wounds say "don't fuck with me".

[Cobra951]

Ouch!  Man, you were lucky.  But unless you want a big scar to bear witness to your manly toughness, I suggest some TLC for that thing.  You don't want infection.  Does it need stitches, or did you just get skinned?  Either way, I'd patch that up for a few days at least.  Change the bandage often.

[gpw11]

Skinned.  Skinned bad.

There's no bandage on it, and there probably won't be.  My philosophy on these sorts of things is usually just to let them heal on their own.  I'll clean it with a q-tip and throw some neosporin/hydrogen peroxide/vitamin e on it if need be, but since it's not actually bleeding anymore, I've got the feeling a bandage would just be counter-productive.

On a funny note, right after writing the first post here I went down to the mall to buy a new hat and some shoes (I forgot to buy the shoes).  In doing so I ran into a girl I went out with on and off a few years ago.  I like her a lot, but we're the kinds of people who totally can't get along together for long periods of time.  She's overly responsible and I'm in a perpetual state of 18 years old.  Anyways,  She said it looked really, really badass.  AWESOME!  I'm totally going to have to play this up.  There are about 8 girls coming over for a bar-b-q tonight.  I figure with my charm and my dangerous looking wound I can totally convince them I'm either some sort of high seas pirate prince or a prize fighter with a heart of gold.  Hopefully mutual friends don't let them in on the dirty dirty truth.

[idolminds]

Pics?

[Quemaqua]

The only story you need - knife fight.

[gpw11]

Kams likewise asked for pics via facebook.  I'll see what I can do.  It sounds worse than it is, but we'll try to get some up tonight.  Probably in badass poses. 

[Raisa]

sorry, i can only come up with ridiculous stories right now. 

Can say "story too long, another time."

just keep it clean and don't let anyone touch it or give you a wittle kiss on the wound to make it feel better.  the less you touch it the better. keep it sterile.

[gpw11]

That's the standard 'I'm about to fuck you up stare'.  Known to scare young girls enough to make them stop screaming.  As you can see, it doesn't look too bad now.  Previously, the entire area between the main laceration and the tiny little cut between my eyes (from the safety glasses getting rammed into my face) was all swollen and pretty red.  That went down quickly, just leaving the actual cuts and it looks about 50x better.



This was my second attempt at looking tough.  I discovered two things after taking this picture:

1.) there's no way to take a picture of yourself without feeling like an emo loser.   

2.) It's really hard to make a tough guy face.  It's a very fine line between tough guy and constipated.

I really just included it so I could show that I am indeed wearing a home made 'No Limit Records' shirt.  Now that's ghetto!

[idolminds]

Nice. You should buy fake blood and always put some on so it looks fresh.

[ren]

you're so canadian

[WindAndConfusion]

In six days I'm scheduled to box a werewolf. I'll let you all know how it turns out.

[Raisa]

you look different from your other pics..  you look about 5 years older.

haha

[sirean_syan]

I think Raisa wins this thread.

[gpw11]

Like 5 years older than other pictures you've seen or 5 years older then.....sigh, Sean Penn?

And I'm thinking of photoshopping an eyepatch into a pic...but that's kind of played out.  What could be more cool and manly?

[WindAndConfusion]

And I'm thinking of photoshopping an eyepatch into a pic...but that's kind of played out.  What could be more cool and manly?

Parrot. Glass eyeball. Cybernetic implants. Death metal mullet. Psionic powers. Cloak & wizard hat.

But the easiest thing would be to paste over the dweeb with someone cooler and manlier, like Richard Simmons or a little girl.

404th post.

[PyroMenace]

Throw some grease on your face. I think it makes for a good tough guy look, kinda like you've just killed of 15 terrorists in a 30 story tower.

Here's my attempt.



Threw some goggles in for effect.

[Quemaqua]

That's what you'll look like after you do the podcast.