Warning: this post contains excessive profanity and use of the word "fuck" and its general variations.
I came after a long, hard day of meetings. Now, I fucking hate meetings, and I fucking hate useless meetings even more, like the ones we had today. Four hours of this bullshit, all of which meant I could in no way get to my OWN work. No, that just piles up in corners until I can get to it somehow.
So I get home. I did my usual 25 minute walk back from the subway, and it's hot summer time out now, so... yeah. I'm hot and tired by the time I get home. First thing in the door, my wife greets me with, "I'm getting the hell out of here". Generally what this means is our apartment is currently pissing her off. There are a variety of reasons it might do this as it's a fucking pile of shit apartment, but lately it's tended to mean that the neighbors are playing music again. Upon querying her, I discover the stupid little bitch who lives down there and is there all day when her parents / dad+girlfriend / random relatives / fucking mexican whoever the fuck they are are at work has been playing music for about 3 hours, apparently now so loud that Julia could actually hear all the music. Not just the bass. I go out into the living room, and it's still going. Quieter, but still there and noticeable. Also, right as I walked in I saw the chick smoking in the apartment driveway again, which she has taken to doing, and this is basically right next to our windows (though we're on the 2nd floor). The smell comes in and fills the whole fucking apartment. The smell of smoke has never bothered me (though it occasionally makes me want a cigarette, which sucks because I quit smoking), but Julia's highly allergic to it and whatever this chick smokes smells like crap. Probably some cheap-ass tobacco they rubbed in chicken shit to make it taste better.
So Julia and I get into a fight about it as usual. It's a big point of contention because she hates confrontation and can't deal with it, and she has to live here above these people like... all day, every day, because her disability has prevented her from working. So it's all well and good for me to go shove the rental agreement in these people's fucking faces (which I did last time I yelled at the guy, whom I've talked to both times I tried to reason with them), but then she has to deal with the backlash all day. Our walls and floors are paper thin, so you can just hear freaking everything in this dump. It's almost like living with people. So that's awkward for her. I just go to work and don't have to deal with it since they haven't generally played the music loud when I'm home. They know I'll come give them shit. So... yeah. Also, Julia wonders how much right we have to complain because she always second guesses her own rights in any given situation. Which drives me up the wall.
So we take a minute to calm down, and she decides to drive to her folks. Get out for a while, relax a little, get away from the noise. It's a good idea. I'd go too, but I just got home from being at work all day! I just want to relax, enjoy myself, somehow make up for the crappy meetings I was in all day and for all the extra work I'm going to have to do tomorrow. So she goes, I stay. On her way out she bangs on the floor to try to get them to shut the fuck up since she knows I'm going to end up getting pissed. I sit there for a few minutes, half-hearing the music coming from the living room area where they have their stereo (which they didn't turn down), and I just lose it. I just completely rage out.
I go into the living room, get on my hands and knees, and just start pounding the fucking floor with my fists. This, as you might imagine, makes a lot of noise, which is kind of the point. About halfway through this fit of rage, which lasts maybe 20 seconds or so, around 10 of which involve the punching, and I start to wonder whether or not I might actually be damaging myself. I'm hitting the floor *really hard*. So I stop. I then realize that holy crap, my hand hurts like you wouldn't believe. I sort of stopped with both hands and switched to my right toward the end, where I got a good 7 or so slams pretty much at full force. As in, as hard as I physically could.
I hear voices downstairs. Something to the effect of "Jeezus, dude! We fucking get it!" from the sound of it. Obviously I don't speak poor inbred immigrant, so it's hard to say. The music doesn't really go down. The lack of an instant meeting of my demands pisses me off even further, so I hit the next step:
Cryptopsy. They're a Canadian metal band. Click that link, then click on the song "Emaciate". It's the first song on their
Whisper Supremacy album. I pop the aforementioned disk in, hit the first track, crank the volume up really, really loud. If you listen to the song (and please do listen for at least a minute to get the full effect), you'll probably get the general idea of what I was trying to accomplish.
They stopped playing music. I continued, but turned down to reasonable volume after that five minute audio skullfuck that I subjected them to. After a while, I stop completely, only to hear that they've started again. Turned way down now, of course, but still there. And I'm not asking for complete silence. I'm asking for reasonable levels. It's reasonable now. The problem is that they've been pissing me off so fucking much that hearing them at all now puts me into an almost homicidal rage. If I could somehow get this guy to fight me in a cage, I would take a good few hours to first incapacitate and then slowly tear him to pieces so that I could shit on his remains.
What scares me is that this is starting to become sort of... normal. I've always had a temper, but this is just bad. The guy is a jerk, and so are his stupid, inconsiderate relatives/roommates/whatever, but I shouldn't be THIS pissed about it, right? I hate my job, but even hating my job shouldn't put me THIS on edge. I don't know what the hell to do. I feel like I'm kind of starting to lose it.
And now my hand fucking hurts. I didn't break it because I can still type, but touching it results in some very unpleasant sensations. And here all I can do is think that I wish I'd broken it on that stupid fucker's face.
This can't be healthy.