You all completely fail. Being drunk off your ass at 3 in the morning is only missing a couple things: an ultimate cheeseburger on the greasiest sourdough ever, a bigass box of seasoned curly fries, and eggrolls. Or a dozen tacos for six dollars.
DAMN IT I MISS MY YOUTH. If I did that now, I would keel over and die on the spot. But that was just a weekend 7 or 8 years ago.
... I'm sad now.