Topic: Raisa's ramblings

[Raisa]

This is a random collection of thoughts stumbling across my head. 

I recently had a chance to see some first cousins.  I haven't seen them for over 3 and a half years or so, nearing 4.  Except of course for the eldest one amongst the siblings who's been around much more than most of us actually desire. Not that we don't love him, he's just the way he is and we can't blame him for that.

Last time I saw the rest of them, we hit it off amazingly swell after the first few hours of staring each other and trying to figure out how to act.  This time around, it was much easier since after about an hour, we figured "Oh they're still the same person I saw a few years ago."  It took me half a day to break the ice with the cousin I was closest too.  but once broken, melting the rest of the ice was cool.

We spent 5 crazy days together and they are heading back to their home tomorrow.  I'm not around for their goodbye party but I'll probably give them a quick call to wish them godspeed.

The eldest of the siblings won't be going anywhere any time soon, so i'm not too worried about not being able to see him for a long time.  But the other two have grown up fast but I have faith they'll stay the same.

It would be mighty interesting if some of you have come across them IRL.  That would be supremely weird but quite possible.

So brings me to what made me write this.....  It's amusing how my expectations can be so shattered or held up.  It's sad that they had to be around when I got the news from my doctor but I guess I got some moral support from it with the "don't die on us yet.  you still gotta cook more meals and be around when I take my kids here."  oh sure, they're years younger than me and not even through college yet. 

Anyway..

[Pugnate]

It was probably a great thing they were around because you seem to be taking things well, all considered.

[Antares]

For some reason, and there is absolutely no reason why, I picture Raisa's cousins as a roving band of circus performers.


Anyway, I'm glad some family was around to help you bear the bad news.  I'm sure the moral support was a tremendous help.

[Quemaqua]

Yeah, I think that's great too.  It's always better if you've got some family you really care about around.

Anyway, I only have one other comment.

Not that we don't love him, he's just the way he is and we can't blame him for that.

You can absolutely blame him for that.  Who the hell else's fault is it?

[Pugnate]

His genetics? His parents? His environment? God?

[Quemaqua]

All excuses.  The reason I'm a bitchy jerk?  Nobody's fault but my own.

[Raisa]

I guess.. Que's not so bitchy in comparison.  Well I'm basing that on Que's barbs on here.  What's really bizarre is his rambling on about what people say about him, even those closest to him, but those people never said anything like that??  And sometimes he's ultra calm, the next he's just absolute bitch.  He bitches like someone on menopause too.  I don't get it.  Someone said maybe he's bi-polar?

I'm taking it pretty well though I haven't really told anyone the details.  My parents know all the details cause they came to the doctor's office with me. 

Life goes on... it's a fading, passing show. 

I just made a cake for someone's kid.  I worked today more than i have worked the past week.  Sometimes I want to see the bad news as a nightmare, I wake up and it's all gone.  but it's not going to happen that way, so might as well dig in for the long haul right?  As they say, it's hard to die.  So might as well live while waiting to die.

[Quemaqua]

That's really all life is... living while waiting to die.  Not a happy way to look at it, though, no matter how long you've got.  You should always endeavor to live and live well no matter what.

[Cobra951]

Our time is limited.  That's a given.  All we can do is make the best of it between birth and death, however close those two boundaries may be.

I'm not waiting to die.  I'd rather not even know when it's coming.

Raisa, try not to worry.  I'm rooting for you.

[Ghandi]

Life has it's ups and downs. Sometimes you feel like shit couldn't get worse and then the next thing you know you have a cute baby staring up at you and all you can think is 

It's threads like these that we need the grouphug emoticon back.

[Raisa]

lol!! babies..  oh dear that makes me remember a comment my cousins had for me - they were like "so when are you having a baby?"  "I can't, i'm not married." "it shouldn't take that long.. maybe a month to find someone and a month later you'll be pregnant."

The most popular question ever "when are you getting married?"

even our sad smiley's gone.. that sucks

[Quemaqua]

Seriously, everything is gone.

And am I the only one who feels depressed as hell when cute babies stare up at him?  I swear, they're like my cryptonite.  Well, maybe not so much.  They'd be like my cryptonite if cryptonite made Superman want to stab himself in the face.

[Cobra951]

Well, you can do stuff like this:  ("[i.m.g]http://209.85.12.234/951/17/emo/whip.gif[/i.m.g]").  But I tried to reply in a thread over at TME, so I could get addresses for the better emoticons.  It won't let me.  Says I don't have permission to reply (and yes, I logged in, twice).  Darn.

[Raisa]

"See something wrong?" "FIX IT!"

That's what I get told every time I bring something up.. so today i just asked "me? bah."

Then other people will never learn to do it cause they will always have someone else do it for them.

Sorry, I'm just in a bad mood and i just want to get away from everything right now