After all the bitching I did, I thought only fair to post a followup. Diskkeeper has finally done the job, and well too (but it did take weeks). Here is the most recent report:
Job Report
Volume (C:):
Findings and Recommendations
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Diskeeper has completed analysis of this volume and found
35 fragmented files and/or directories and 293 excess
fragments.
The average number of fragments per file is 1.00.
Little or no fragmentation detected on this volume. You
should keep Automatic Defragmentation turned on full time
to maintain maximum performance.
Also, free space on this volume is running low. Consider
actions to free more disk space.
Health
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Warning!
The overall health of volume C: is degraded
The overall health is at "Warning" level for the following
reasons:
1. The free space on this volume is very low (20%), making
it difficult to defragment the volume.
Before:After:The green diagonal stripes represent the paging file. You can't see that in the "before" map because it's split into over 2,000 fragments.
That can only be fixed at boot-up time. Funny thing is that it said it couldn't find enough contiguous space to do it. Yet there it is.
Edit: 100% file defrag. Didn't think it was possible. There's still some MFT fragmentation, although much less than before. I think I'm done. I'm going to turn off the background process now.
Really after: