And what I mean by that is that the building where I work is closing. I found out on Friday.
This has been a long time coming. The idiots that manage my department are... well, idiots, and they wouldn't know how to properly manage funds if you shoved a billion dollars up their nose. Add to that California's obscene debt which goes so far beyond the word "debt" it seems like they should invent a new word to describe it, and you have a very bad situation for my department. To rectify this lack of funds and outright mismanagement, they've decided to close the building where I work, which houses my digital imaging group, the rest of our legal staff (caseworkers and attorneys), and our customer service unit. My unit is about 7 people, CSU is about another 7 or so, there are probably 30-35 legal secretaries and caseworkers, and then maybe 8 attorneys. There are a few other random people, like the sheriff's department deputies, the inspectors, the couple accounting people, and we're also housing another court department because their building flooded and we have an extra room in which they can hold court, but only the accounting people would actually move with us. The inspectors are only there to serve people court papers, really, and we already have a Lieutenant at the other building as far as I know.
Anyway, we'll all be going to this other building, which is our original building. I've never worked there, because in the 6 years that I've worked for the department, it's been where I work now. The branch was opened more or less to give people an extra option as far as where they could get service from us, and we also held court there on Fridays (aside from separately housing the legal group and the ombuds people, which probably had its own advantages somehow).
So why is this bad? Several reasons. First of all, everyone here knows that I fucking hate my job, but they probably don't know that one of the only things that kept me sane there was the fact that I like my building pretty well, my commute is short, there's lots of good places to eat around there, and it's a smaller group of people so I'm not under constant scrutiny by a million people. And it's quiet. Meaning if there isn't a ridiculous amount of work to be done, I have a little leeway to relax and slack off, or as I generally do, get a little extra writing done. The *other* building, however, I hate and loathe as much as anything I've ever hated.
The most obvious problem is the commute is like 3 times as long, and there's no subway station anywhere near it. This means that I'd have to take the subway and then take the bus, so not only would it take me extra time to get there in the form of probably another hour, it would take extra money that I don't have since the subway stop is further out than the one I have now, plus I'd have to pay for the bus. Plus I've taken this bus before, and it's fucking scary. I've known some kind of scary ghetto people that didn't like to take it because they found it unpleasant, which should give you some idea. The subway stop I'd be using is also a bit iffy. I used to take it to visit my sister when she lived out that way, and I personally saw a guy in the parking lot get his head caved in with a shovel one night. He was fighting some other guy, and I have no idea why there was a shovel but... yeah. There've been some shootings and stuff, too. So I really kinda' don't want to go that route if I can avoid it, especially being a lone white boy who'd be going home after dark for a third of the year. Unfortunately, the only other option is driving, which I also don't want to do. I got rid of my old car because I didn't need it anymore and it was just sucking money out of my pocket repeatedly, so we just have my wife's car now. That's been fine for years. But now if I want to avoid this other commute, I'll have to buy a car, sit through commute traffic every morning and night, start paying for gas, start paying for insurance, and start paying for parking. I can't fucking afford that, let alone what it'll cost when whatever shitty car I inevitably buy ends up breaking down.
So yes, that all sucks, but what's really worse is that I absolutely *hate* the other building even once I get there. It's old as fuck and falling apart, and I won't even use the elevators there because they're a damned death trap. It's at least two times the size of my current building and totally stuffed with people already and there's no room for the rest of us, which means at this point they don't even know if I'm going to get a proper desk. Also because of the huge amount of people, it's LOUD. My building is extremely quiet, which I like, and we don't do a lot of parties and that kind of stuff. Most of the people there are, at least, relatively levelheaded and cool. The people at the other building are the equivalent of drunken slobs. They throw parties for every occasion, and these are loud parties with costumes and all that kind of shit that I hate. There's even an old TV in the break room they use to watch soap operas at lunch. So I'm pretty antisocial, especially when you're talking about people I find distasteful that I don't have anything in common with, and this all leads to me feeling really uncomfortable. I've been to the other building many times despite not working there regularly, because we had to help some people with some projects there, and every time I've been there I've wanted to kill myself. I hate it so bad, getting those projects done was like the best thing ever and the only time that accomplishing something at this freaking hole actually made me feel like I actually accomplished something. Some of the less scrupulous people I've worked for have attempted to hold the prospect of sending me there as a threat.
To exacerbate this problem, I also won't have a job anymore. As far as I know I won't be getting canned, because I'm union and they really can't do that, but my current job is more or less not going to exist. And I won't be falling into anything similar, most likely, because they recently promoted me against my will. Years ago we had to fill out these thing in an attempt for them to reassess our job as part of some study, and they said there was a possibility we might get promoted to the next level because of it. But this was like three or four years ago and nothing ever came of it. Then, suddenly, a little less than a year ago they decided to give us promotions for no apparent reason. I became skeptical at the time, and it was apparently with good reason. See, in the position I was in before, I didn't have anything to worry about. I worked where I worked and they couldn't transfer me to another unit or anything. I was safe. Part of the promotion is that you can then request reassignment to other units when they open up, or if you're needed elsewhere, you can be moved. The problem is that they can do this entirely without your consent, meaning that I could now be given to whatever horrendous fucking unit wants me or needs me for any reason at all, regardless of whether or not I'm actually a good fit with those people or the job. I've avoided any form of promotion or training in the past because I don't want to work with the public, because I don't want to change my dress code (another of the few things that makes the job livable), I don't want to interact heavily with anyone if I can avoid it, and I don't want to do any accounting work. Now it's thrust upon me, and I'm at their mercy. And given most of what there is to do at the other building, it really doesn't matter anyway, because any job that they give me that's not what I have now is going to be doing all the stuff I've taken great pains to avoid doing for 6 years. They held out for this so they could do exactly what they're doing to us. There have been rumors that the building would close, but they really ran a beautiful campaign of lies to keep us from outright revolt. Now that it's been long enough, most people have calmed down and accepted it (and they've changed things so that a lot of our current staff have worked at the other building before so they don't care about going back). It was the first smart fucking thing I've ever seen them do. I just wish they hadn't done it to rape me. There are still a lot of pissed off people, but we're all powerless to do anything, and a lot of us are going to be in situations we really don't want to be after this. For me it really boils down to my hatred of what I do and how much more I'm going to hate what they make me do going forward, but for others this is much worse because they have career goals that are getting fucked with and there's nothing they can do to throw off the yoke other than outright quit.
So why not find a new job, you ask? Because I can't. The place has great pay, great benefits, and at least relative job security, and with a disabled wife who can't really work (though she's still trying to get something through vocational rehab) and still hasn't managed to get on disability, our life is 100% completely dependent upon what I do. Otherwise I'd have left long ago even as it's been, forget about trying to suffer through where it's going.
I'm stressed out of my mind. I started smoking again. I feel like I'm about to collapse. And I can't really even talk to my Julia about it because we're going through so much other shit that she's already on edge about, and burdening her too much with this would just drive her to depression. I have no idea what I'm going to do.
