Topic: Serious Sam 3: coming summer 2011, official announcement soon

[idolminds]

According to Croteam

Just a quick note to let all Serious Sam fans know that Serious Sam 3: BFE is coming this summer 2011.

Official annoncement will be released soon.

[MysterD]

BFE?
Is that "Before First Encounter?"

[idolminds]

First screen (hopefully I can link it):

[MysterD]

Is that an in-game screen? 

[W7RE]

Is that an in-game screen? 

I think the important question here is, "is that Arabic written correctly?"

[MysterD]

I think the important question here is, "is that Arabic written correctly?"

Yeah, where's X when you need him?

[sirean_syan]

I think the really real question is, "what the hell is Serious Sam doing in Call of Duty?"

[W7RE]

I think the really real question is, "what the hell is Serious Sam doing in Call of Duty?"

It wouldn't surprise me if part of the game is a parody of Call of Duty.

[Pugnate]

That looks extraordinary!

[idolminds]

More screens! 16 player co-op! And a hilarious press release quote.

“Holy crap, I am going to make a boatload of cash of this game,” said Fork Parker, chief financial officer at Devolver Digital, the Serious Sam 3: BFE publisher. “I mean that’s what this is all about, right? If this thing comes out in the summer my wife is totally getting the tit job she’s been asking for.”

Serious Sam 3 will bring the boom to PC and game consoles this summer.

When asked for further comment, Fork replied, “Bam. Tit job.”

[MysterD]

LMAO @ the above.

[idolminds]

So theres already a Steam store page for SS3 and it says the game supports Steam Cloud, achievements, and leaderboards...so I'm basically preparing myself for massive disappointment and writing the whole thing off.

But in more interesting news, Croteam is cool. What happens when you let some indie devs loose on the SS IP? You get 3 indie games!

Serious Sam: Double D (Mommy's Best Games)
Serious Sam explodes across the second dimension as Mommy's Best Games (Weapon of Choice, Explosionade, Shoot 1UP) slams the legendary hero into a frantic side-scrolling shooter on PC and consoles. Featuring killer hand drawn artwork, classic and original enemies, and the innovative weapon stacking system, Serious Sam: Double D is a uniquely exciting chapter in the Serious Sam saga. All that stands between victory and annihilation is a man with a T-shirt and jeans... and a great big pile of guns.

Serious Sam: Kamikaze Attack! (Be-Rad Entertainment)
Pledge allegiance to the evil lord Mental, join the ranks of the Headless Kamikaze brigade and destroy the vile Serious Sam. Be-Rad Entertainment's (Lame Castle) hand drawn auto runner brings the awesome to mobile platforms as you guide your fearless group of Headless Kamikazes across the battlefield, dodging hazards and pitfalls while avoiding oncoming fire from the deplorable Serious Sam.

Serious Sam: The Random Encounter (Vlambeer)
The classic RPG turn-based battle gets a seriously frantic overhaul as Vlambeer (Super Crate Box, Radical Fishing) turns their talent loose on the first Serious Sam role-playing game. Traverse a harsh and dangerous world map as Serious Sam and his team are thrown into rapid-fire battles against towering numbers of enemies on their way to glory against the legions of Mental's horde. Arm your squad to the teeth with massive ordinance, throw down some special items and take aim at the hordes of charging enemies holding that sweet, sweet loot you crave so badly.

"I've never heard of any of these indie clowns," said Fork Parker, chief financial officer at Devolver Digital, publisher of Serious Sam 3: BFE. "Do any of these jokers make hentai games? I'm telling you guys, that weird tentacle stuff is the future of gaming."

Bam. Tit job.

[idolminds]

Reveal trailer

No cover. All man.

[Quemaqua]

That was awesome.

[idolminds]

You know the cliche review of "I laughed, I cried..."? Well, thats how I felt about the latest press release.

Austin, TX – In a move likely to shock absolutely no one, Devolver Digital CFO and massage parlor enthusiast Fork Parker has revealed that plans for his company’s digital download game service, codenamed “Krundle”, have been abandoned.

“I think we could have revolutionized how I make a shitload of money,” said CFO Fork Parker. “But the reality is Steam is an amazing digital platform. That’s where we want to distribute our top-tier titles like Serious Sam 3: BFE to generate the kind of revenue it takes to buy things like velvet-covered jet skis. Holy crap, did I just invent those?”

The proposed service was set to radically change the digital distribution marketplace with features not seen in any other online offering:

-Unconventional preorder incentives like in-game nachos and undetonated Cold War era munitions
-Free-to-Play-for-Fifty-Bucks games wherein the consumer is free to play the game once it is purchased for $50
-Complimentary Portuguese adult films with purchases of $200 or more

While breakthrough concepts found in the now aborted download service may never see the light of day, Devolver Digital pledges to move the industry forward and keep bringing genuinely unique games to the hungry masses.

“I guess consumers could also sign-up for EA’s Origin service if they are into 10-year-old train simulators,” claimed Fork. “But you can be sure those sons of bitches will never deliver in-game nachos.”

More nonsense can we found at twitter.com/devolverdigital on the internets.

[Cobra951]

All hail Valve!

[idolminds]

You know, I don't care that its on Steam, let people buy things where they want. I just hate that its exclusively on Steam. And we're supposed to be thrilled by this news. Drives me up the wall.

[MysterD]

“I guess consumers could also sign-up for EA’s Origin service if they are into 10-year-old train simulators,” claimed Fork. “But you can be sure those sons of bitches will never deliver in-game nachos.”

ROFL! 


EDIT:

You know, I don't care that its on Steam, let people buy things where they want. I just hate that its exclusively on Steam. And we're supposed to be thrilled by this news. Drives me up the wall.

Other services [like D2D, Gamersgate, GameStop Impulse] do have the right to sell this game...and probably will, since they will see Steamworks-required game - even though the game will require Steamworks.
This is really no different than G4WL games requiring G4WL [overlay when in-game] - but are sold practically everywhere, including on Steam.

[idolminds]

Of course they will sell the game, that doesn't stop it from requiring me to run the Steam client to play it, download it, and update it. GFWL is a little different. It only runs when the game runs, it doesn't force updates on me, I don't have to log in to it if I dont want to. I've got a few GFWL games like Fallout 3 and Viva Pinata and the most I ever saw of GFWL was a little "bloop" sound telling me to hit the Home key to open it. Which I never did.

This isn't about who I hand my money to, this is about who ultimately holds the leash for my game.

[Quemaqua]

Bleh.

[Cobra951]

This isn't about who I hand my money to, this is about who ultimately holds the leash for my game.

That's it.  Once I buy it, I hold the leash.  I will not allow anyone else to intrude.  I did once, but that was out of ignorance.  I bought an XBLIG game, then I found out I had to be logged in to XBL to play the independent games.  Never again.

[PyroMenace]

Sometimes this place feels like a broken record. Game gets announced, it gets on Steam and the exact comments and sentiments are said. Maybe some of you should just stop playing games because it isn't going to get better for you, only worse. Steam isn't that fucking bad.

[Xessive]

I miss retail purchases. I'm gonna try to focus more on getting games from my local store rather than submit to the seduction of online purchases.

Hmm, maybe I should go back to Amazon purchases.

[MysterD]

I miss retail purchases. I'm gonna try to focus more on getting games from my local store rather than submit to the seduction of online purchases.

Hmm, maybe I should go back to Amazon purchases.

You mean Amazon's retail boxes, right?
For the Amazon download store - does that have regional restrictions for you?

[Xessive]

You mean Amazon's retail boxes, right?
For the Amazon download store - does that have regional restrictions for you?

Yes and yes.

I still dream of the day when the Internet counts as a unique, individual region.

[W7RE]

Yes and yes.

I still dream of the day when the Internet counts as a unique, individual region.

I agree. The region locking stuff was bad enough when it was just a problem when you wanted to import a game or something. Now it's being forced into strictly digital situations.

The other day I saw someone tweet about a song they were listening to in Spotify, with a link to open it in the program. So I click the link, and it tells me the song is not available in my region. WTF?

[Xessive]

I agree. The region locking stuff was bad enough when it was just a problem when you wanted to import a game or something. Now it's being forced into strictly digital situations.

The other day I saw someone tweet about a song they were listening to in Spotify, with a link to open it in the program. So I click the link, and it tells me the song is not available in my region. WTF?

Yeah, it's bad enough when it's a video e.g. Hulu. Now they're doing it with music?!

I mean they do understand that we live in one world! I'm starting to feel like a modern day Internet hippie

[Xessive]

Probably the best DRM ever!

[Cobra951]

Haha!  Awesome!  Next, people who bought the game will be wanting a cheat code to bring out the red scorpion.