Author Topic: The Human Centipede... WTF.  (Read 5143 times)

Offline Pugnate

  • What? You no like?
  • Global Moderator
  • Forum god
  • *
  • Posts: 12,244
    • OW
The Human Centipede... WTF.
« on: Tuesday, May 11, 2010, 11:33:16 AM »

Offline Xessive

  • Gold Member
  • *
  • Posts: 9,920
    • XSV @ deviantART
Re: The Human Centipede... WTF.
« Reply #1 on: Tuesday, May 11, 2010, 11:40:19 AM »
I saw the trailer a few weeks ago on Quicktime Movie Trailers. Pretty messed idea.

Offline Pugnate

  • What? You no like?
  • Global Moderator
  • Forum god
  • *
  • Posts: 12,244
    • OW
Re: The Human Centipede... WTF.
« Reply #2 on: Tuesday, May 11, 2010, 01:45:20 PM »
http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20100505/REVIEWS/100509982?cnn=yes

Quote
I am required to award stars to movies I review. This time, I refuse to do it. The star rating system is unsuited to this film. Is the movie good? Is it bad? Does it matter? It is what it is and occupies a world where the stars don't shine.

Offline Cobra951

  • Gold Member
  • *
  • Posts: 8,934
Re: The Human Centipede... WTF.
« Reply #3 on: Tuesday, May 11, 2010, 07:29:38 PM »
 :o

Offline Cools!

  • Administrator
  • Veteran
  • *
  • Posts: 1,628
  • Let's burn.
Re: The Human Centipede... WTF.
« Reply #4 on: Tuesday, May 11, 2010, 10:42:26 PM »
Why not!

Offline Pugnate

  • What? You no like?
  • Global Moderator
  • Forum god
  • *
  • Posts: 12,244
    • OW
Re: The Human Centipede... WTF.
« Reply #5 on: Tuesday, May 11, 2010, 11:31:52 PM »
haha cools...

Offline W7RE

  • Post-aholic
  • *****
  • Posts: 2,780
Re: The Human Centipede... WTF.
« Reply #6 on: Wednesday, May 12, 2010, 02:04:13 AM »
Well I watched Donkey Punch, why the hell not. Looking for a good stream now.

Offline W7RE

  • Post-aholic
  • *****
  • Posts: 2,780
Re: The Human Centipede... WTF.
« Reply #7 on: Wednesday, May 12, 2010, 04:38:54 AM »
Well, it was pretty much exactly what you would expect.

Spoilers, not that it really matters...
So this german doctor was supposed to be the best in his field, which is the separation of siamese twins. Now that he's retired he wants to continue his work, but now create. So he turns his 3 dogs into a centipede, ass to mouth style. (You only see a picture, the movie takes place after the dogs are already dead and buried.) Then he kidnaps 2 lost girls, and a japanese guy. He ties them up in hospital beds in his basement and shows them a little slide show of what he's gonna do. 2 people are to have all from teeth pulled (no biting, please), and lips removed, and 2 will have their assholes cut to match so they can be sewn together. Skin sections are pulled up from the ass cheeks and sewn onto the connecting face for a stringer connection. Surgery will be preformed on the knees to keep them from being able to extend them (and stand up).

One girl tries to escape, so he makes her the middle, which he says is harder on the knees. He lets them heal up, mostly on seditives, and then gets them to walk around and treats them like a pet. He feeds them in a dog bowl, and tries to teach them to fetch the paper. Japanese guy (the "head" of the centipede) shits in middle girl's mouth. Cops show up to investigate missing persons, doctor acts weird, them come back with a warrant. Cops kill doctor but he kills them, Japanese guy kills himself (cuts his throat with some broken glass), tail end chick dies from infection. The credits roll with the middle chick crying into the dead Japanese guy's asshole with her dead friend sewn to her own. I assume more cops will show up eventually and help her, since two cops just got a warrant to search the place and won't ever come back. But now she's lost her friend, is toothless, lipless, can't walk, and will never forget the time she spent a few weeks sewn to someone's asshole.



Highlights:
Paintings: The doctor has weird paintings/photographs of siamese twins all over his house, mostly babies and fetuses.
Ripping the IV out: You know how a medical IV is inserted in a direction toward your inner elbow? There's a shot where someone accidentally bends the line in that direction, ripping the vein out of the arm, up to the inner elbow. It's a quick shot, but that shit would still hurt.
Pulling the chick's teeth out.
Dude shitting in girl's mouth: I knew this was coming, but it was hilarious when it happened. The "head" guy is Japanese, so you get subtitles, "Shit! I've got to shit! ... I'm so sorry!" While she gags it down.
Ripping and bleeding while trying to escape: It's all just blood coming from under white bandages, but I was imagining stitches ripping open and exposing a bloody mouth with no lips/teeth.
Japanese dude cutting his own throat.

Offline Cobra951

  • Gold Member
  • *
  • Posts: 8,934
Re: The Human Centipede... WTF.
« Reply #8 on: Wednesday, May 12, 2010, 09:41:26 AM »
Hahahahaha!  Jesus Christ.  Thanks for the synopsis.  That cured me of all curiosity about this trash.

Offline W7RE

  • Post-aholic
  • *****
  • Posts: 2,780
Re: The Human Centipede... WTF.
« Reply #9 on: Wednesday, May 12, 2010, 01:39:41 PM »
Oh yea, while the guy is shitting in the girl's mouth, the doctor yells, "YEEES! FEEED HER!"

Offline scottws

  • Gold Member
  • *
  • Posts: 6,604
    • Facebook Me
Re: The Human Centipede... WTF.
« Reply #10 on: Wednesday, May 12, 2010, 01:59:59 PM »
So how long did this guy think the "centipede" would last?  I mean, sure, feces does have some left over energy in it that could be utilized by the human digestive system but surely it wouldn't be enough to sustain life for an extended period.  Certainly not for the third person in the chain.

Offline W7RE

  • Post-aholic
  • *****
  • Posts: 2,780
Re: The Human Centipede... WTF.
« Reply #11 on: Wednesday, May 12, 2010, 02:07:11 PM »
I really can't tell if the movie was supposed to be a dark comedy, or serious. There is apparently a sequel in the works titled, "The Human Centipede II (Full Circle)". A quick browsing of the IMDB page for the first reveals that apparently the writer/director has dreams of a 12 person centipede in the sequel.

Offline sirean_syan

  • Global Moderator
  • Post-aholic
  • *
  • Posts: 2,544
  • ...
Re: The Human Centipede... WTF.
« Reply #12 on: Wednesday, May 12, 2010, 02:21:30 PM »
So, at that point is the director just a sick fuck fulfilling a fantasy or is he just giving the fans what they want? Does this movie even have fans? If they exist, why are they allowed to continue existing?

Offline Pugnate

  • What? You no like?
  • Global Moderator
  • Forum god
  • *
  • Posts: 12,244
    • OW
Re: The Human Centipede... WTF.
« Reply #13 on: Thursday, May 13, 2010, 12:55:04 AM »
What Sirean said.

Offline Quemaqua

  • 古い塩
  • Administrator
  • Forum god
  • *
  • Posts: 16,498
  • パンダは触るな。
    • Bookruptcy
Re: The Human Centipede... WTF.
« Reply #14 on: Thursday, May 13, 2010, 10:19:09 AM »
Burn it all to the fucking ground.  Fuck me.  What is wrong with people?

天才的な閃きと平均以下のテクニックやな。 課長有野

Offline sirean_syan

  • Global Moderator
  • Post-aholic
  • *
  • Posts: 2,544
  • ...
Re: The Human Centipede... WTF.
« Reply #15 on: Monday, May 24, 2010, 04:57:08 PM »

Offline Cobra951

  • Gold Member
  • *
  • Posts: 8,934
Re: The Human Centipede... WTF.
« Reply #16 on: Monday, May 24, 2010, 06:52:43 PM »
Oh, boo!  It takes away the score before before you have a chance to see it.  I took it to Level 7, which, considering that the only thing that sucks worse than Flash here is the cursor going out of bounds and minimizing/restoring the window repeatedly, isn't too shabby.

Offline Pugnate

  • What? You no like?
  • Global Moderator
  • Forum god
  • *
  • Posts: 12,244
    • OW
Re: The Human Centipede... WTF.
« Reply #17 on: Tuesday, May 25, 2010, 12:52:50 AM »
hahaha oh my god I found it nauseating to even play that a few seconds.