I heard a story about you two.
It took place long ago, at a time no one can remember. But there was a gun battle of epic proportions - two sides at arms; anger and determination on both sides. Amidst the chaos, two soldiers charged at each other, guns blazing.
But, alas - both of these soldiers were weak and timid. Realizing that they couldn't hit shit, they ran at each other, slapping with tiny, ineffectual hands until the other surrendered in a shameful cloud of tears.
It has been dubbed the battle of little vagina. There was no winners that day, only losers.