So I never did bother with CoH when I made this thread. But last night I went ahead and installed it. Then I installed the 1.0 -> 1.4 patch, then 1.4 -> 2.101, then 2.101 -> 2.102.
Then I tried to run the game. In the game menu, it said I needed another several hundred MB patch and downloaded at installed it automatically. I checked the version after that and I was at version 2.201. So I went on the site and downloaded these patches:
2.202 -> 2.300
2.300 -> 2.301
2.301 -> 2.400
2.400 -> 2.500
2.500 -> 2.501
2.501 -> 2.502
2.502 -> 2.600
2.600 -> 2.601
Luckily this didn't take too long because I have a 20 Mb down connection, otherwise I would have been pissed.
I went ahead and started installing the remaining patches in order. All went well until patch 2.500 -> 2.501. It kept telling me that the file WW2Art.sga was corrupt in the patch file or the existing file wasn't the expected version. I tried to run the patch again with the same results. I deleted the patch and downloaded it again again from the official site with the same result. I tried to run the 2.400 -> 2.500 patch again, but it said it was already installed. I tried to extract the EXE for the previous patch to see if I could grab 2.500 of the WW2Art.sga out of there, but I couldn't figure out how.
I tried launching the game, but it said I needed to download a 1.34 MB patch. I went ahead and did this, but all it does is download and install the Relic Patch Download Manager, which is a P2P patch downloader. I see it running in the System Tray, but it is not transferring anything up and down. It also seems to have no GUI and no options. I can't even right-click the icon in the System Tray and exit. If it does anything useful, it certainly doesn't show or act like it.
I tried launching the game again and it wanted to download a 1.34 MB patch again. I did this, and it just reinstalled the Relic Patch Download Manager again. I tried launching the game and pressing cancel on the same patch download, but it requires me to log in. If I have an account, I don't remember what it is. I tried all my standard logins and none of them worked. For some reason, both the Create Account and Forgot Password buttons were disabled.
I did find that I was able to get into the game if I had the CD in the drive and I disabled my network card.
This is easily the most fucking ridiculous game installation I have ever had. What the fuck is Relic thinking here?
I submitted a support case to Relic for the problem (something I haven't done since I had trouble installing and running games in the early 90's), but I have a feeling they are going to just have me jump through the bullshit hoops in the following KB article:
http://support.thq.com/thq/consumer/kbdetail.asp?kbid=354&SearchType=advanced&referrer=&gpn=&CustID=&bUseEditor=&keyword=error+10104&rfield=&sortmethod=rel&usertype=&gpv=&catID2=&formaction=search&catID1=&IncludeHTML=&catID3=&TotalResults=259&submitbutton=Go&match=and