Topic: My brother is losing the battle against mental illness

[PyroMenace]

I've talked about on here before, about his trips to the hospital. Well we was doing pretty good for a little while. He graduated from his university and landed a decent job with great pay and benefits and even moved himself to Boston. However like most schizophrenics, he wanted off his meds. Was tired of dealing with it's side effects. Despite our concerns and warnings he went off of them. He seemed to be doing well and we gave him the benefit of the doubt but the reality of his condition is just an inevitability of how things will go for him. The symptoms were subtle but noticeable. His train of thought started going off and his irrational behavior soon followed, once the delusions started we had to step in. He kept calling our mom with worry that something was wrong, and in the process panicing her. So my dad talked to him and got him to fly over here to us under the guise of, why yes, we do need help, so here he's been. In the beginning it was a bit rough, his fidgeting into everything and his constant ramblings of wanting to fix everything there and turn all financial and property responsibilities unto himself was tiring and stressful. Any sort of pull or tug back to reality was useless and only met with aggressive denial. We want to get him professional help but it's impossible if he's not willing nor making any threats toward anyone or himself. So my dad did the only damn thing we could do, give him his meds unknowingly. And that's what we've been doing for the passed week he's been here.

Last night I was at my wits end and he was starting to wise up to his meds being put in his food. I had a discussion with him in an effort to get him to see reason and have an insight, but again, it was hitting a wall. It turned into a heated argument, I was frustrated and tired of it. I called the cops hoping something could happen to get him somewhere. And it worked... almost... he agreed to be evaluated so he went with them willingly, however because of the fact he was on his meds, his symptoms had been suppressed so he was able to leave a couple hours later. So here he stays, completely oblivious that hes going to lose his career and everything hes worked for for the passed 6 years. At this point all we can do his struggle to give him his meds and hope he comes around. Sure we could send him back to boston and he would go, but with his condition he would end up like a lot of schizophrenics do, homeless and unwilling to seek help from anyone. It may actually come to that if his resistance his hard enough.

I had no idea how powerful something like this can be, or even how deeply entrenched the mind can be in an irrational and broken state. Some parts of me just wants to throw him out to the wolves in sheer frustration, but we've all seen him make it through to the other side. I just hope it happens again this time, I think it will, but the doubts I have make up for some scary scenarios.

[Xessive]

That is tough. I really hope your family pulls through this trying ordeal.

Your brother definitely needs your support, no matter how he behaves; his mental state incapacitates him from acknowledging that but you know better.

I wish there were something I could say or do to help.

[Quemaqua]

That really sucks, man, I'm sorry to hear it. I don't have a lot of experience with it, though my cousin is now pretty much exactly like that. He overdosed as a young man and that was the end for him, he pretty much ruined his life. I hope your brother will come around again, because he's really been pretty successful considering what he's had to deal with. My cousin is FUBAR. He's better when he takes the drugs, but he's far more generally rebellious about it than your brother, sounds like, and he's caused probably upwards of $75,000 in property damage, stolen cars, threatened people, and is now in a group home. He used to drink a lot, though I don't know about now. He smokes like a chimney, gained a shit ton of weight. Police won't do anything until laws are broken, and clinics can't do much to hold people even when they're exhibiting symptoms. At the very best, all they really do is hold them until they're stable, then let them out ... which is when a lot of them think they're better and then stop taking the drugs. It's been horrible for my aunt.

Anyway, I'm really sorry. I'll pray for you guys, and I hope you can get through to your brother. It would be a shame to see him lose what he worked for. Seemed like he was really doing well.

You need to talk or get out of the house, come hang out, go grab a bite, whatever, let me know, okay? Call any time. And hang in there. Wish your dad my best too ... I hope this gets better for you guys soon.

[gpw11]

Sorry to hear that man.  Mental illness can be one of the toughest things to deal with for both those with it and those who love them and it's a shame that there aren't more support networks and resources out there. 

Best of luck, I hope it all works out for the best.

[Pugnate]

I battled depression a few years ago and it is tough. Thankfully I didn't have to use medication to be well again.

I do know of someone exactly like your brother and he at some point was doing well so decided he didn't need medication. Without telling his wife or family he quietly stopped. Of course, that didn't take effect until many months later, after which he transformed back into the unwell person and it caused his family a lot of anguish.

I don't know what the answer here is. Countless works of fiction (Including 6 feet Under) feature characters battling depression who go off the medication once they are better because they think they are fine, only to relapse and have their entire lives turn upside down.

I think the realization has to come from within and there isn't much else to do. For that to happen, for your brother, perhaps the shit does need to hit the fan, after which he consistently takes medication and then actually realizes that yes, he can't go off it again.

[PyroMenace]

I appreciate everyone's feedback on this. It's been a crazy couple of weeks, mainly for my dad. He's been so exhausted as he barely gets any sleep. My brother tends to start going off the rails in the evenings and it's been very difficult to get him his meds consistently without him knowing. But it seems like some headway was gained over the last couple days. He took off early in the morning pretty intoxicated and angry, my dad had called the police on him. He said he was going to head to Nashville, then back to Boston. It was a bit scary but several hours later he called my dad back, I guess he sobered up and changed his mind. He got a hotel for the night and came back the next day. My dad talked to him for a while and gave him the condition of that he can stay here under the restriction the he takes his meds. He can leave when he finds a job and apartment. It's not a ideal solution since he's likely to just stop taking them as soon as he's back on his feet but he at least got him to take his meds voluntarily for now. I'm sure we can work on some of the other finer details later when he's more cognitive. So yea, good news for now, I hope the worst of it is now behind us.

[Pugnate]

Glad he is doing a little better.

[Quemaqua]

Step in the right direction. Good luck, man. Will pray for him.