Topic: I am going to hunt down and kill my old dentist.

[WindAndConfusion]

Once upon a time, I had a tooth that had a cavity. It bothered me, and even hurt quite a bit occasionally, so on at least three separate occasions I specifically pointed it out to my dentist. Each time, he looked at it for about five seconds and said, "It's fine."

Fast forward to about six months after the last time he said that - this would be the end of spring break 2005 - and it was starting to bother me. I took some tylenol and it was fine. Then I ended up on a train for 24 hours, and at this point the tylenol had completely stopped working. When I got back to school, I immediately had to make a dentist's appointment. By the time I got there, I hadn't slept or eaten for three days.

An X-ray revealed an infection about the size of a nickel in the root of my tooth. Turns out there was a small cavity near the gumline, which had gone untreated so long that I now needed a root canal. The swelling was bad enough that they couldn't even give me a topical painkiller, so I got the distinct pleasure of having a dentist drill through an unanesthetized nerve. (The drilling hurt way less than the toothache, at this point.) The oral surgeon remarked it was the worst she'd ever seen. They had to do it in two parts, basically drilling a hole in my tooth and letting the infection drain for a few days before sending me back so they could fill it. (They also gave me some Vicodin, which was completely ineffective until several hours later when the swelling finally went down a bit.)

Fast forward to now, and I need to visit an endodontist because by the time a non-incompetent dentist took a look at the tooth it was essentially dead. I now get to decide between a thousand dollar repair job on the root canal (with anesthetic this time), or a two thousand dollar extraction and a titanium replacement. Chances are I get the more expensive option. (At least I don't have an unbelievable toothache... yet.)

I will never again be able to pass through a metal detector without setting it off, nor will I be able to get an NMRI without liquefying my brain.

I am going to use my new titanium tooth to kill my old dentist.

[Quemaqua]

I am going to use my new titanium tooth to kill my old dentist.

That is the best thing I have ever read.

Anyway... that's awful. I can't even imagine.  I'm hugely sensitive about my teeth and about having people poking around in my mouth.  I can't stand it, so I avoid the dentist way more than I should.  I'm actually having some gum problems which it seems might be some kind of genetic thing?  Not sure.  My dad had some similar problems.  I know I need to go in but I just haven't been able to bring myself to.  I've never had a cavity in my life, so it isn't like I don't take care of myself, I just... I hate dentists.  I mean, I hate people, and then I have to let them stick their fucking fingers all over my mouth?  Whoever came up with that concept was insane.  I feel like I'd almost rather just let all my teeth fall out of my head.

[Cools]

Damn man, that's not right! But also absolutely not suprising and this kind of thing always freaks me out. There are so many "average" doctors and dentists around now. I don't trust anyone!

Can you get a tooth that shoots a laser?

[Raisa]

you do that. 

i hate dentists.

[Pugnate]

I read that yesterday and couldn't think of anything interesting to say, and still can't. Still I do sympathize with you, because it all sounds horrible. I am so scared of dentists...

[scottws]

I had trouble with a previous dental professional as well.  My orthodontist did something with my braces that basically forced my teeth to break through a thin bone structure in my lower jaw.  Since then, the bone holding my teeth in slowly disintegrated.  Now I have almost no bone encasing my lower front teeth and my gum line is severely depleted.  I've already had two periodontal surgeries (which I still owe about $2000) to stem the tide.  I'll probably eventually lose all of my lower front teeth at an age way earlier than I should.

Fucker.

[Pugnate]

Can't you sue the bastard?

[Quemaqua]

Seriously, dude.  That's horrendous.

[Cobra951]

Can't you sue the bastard?

That was my thought exactly.  Kill him in court.  Saves jail time.  Has other benefits when you win.

[scottws]

I probably should consult a lawyer about it, and another dental professional.

[Pugnate]

You should do it. What happened is pretty fucked up.

[Antares]

I say you secretly replace his toothpaste with cake frosting.  In a couple years he'll be the one eating the drill bit, and you can laugh like a madman from the waiting room while he screams during dental surgery because you've paid the anesthesiologist to replace the laughing gas with new car smell.

Oh yes... vengeance will be yours.

[sirean_syan]

You know, that can lead to a great idea. They really need to make cake flavored toothpaste that actually works as well as normal toothpaste... I guess that's just kid's toothpaste. Huh?

Maybe it's not such a great idea. This morning I used my nephew's bubblegum flavored toothpaste and it didn't taste quite right and my teeth don't feel so clean right now. The toothpaste flavor is probably there for a reason.

[scottws]

Cake-flavored toothpaste?  That sounds vile.

[Ghandi]

I've been blessed with good teeth. Never needed braces or a retainer or had any cavities or anything. One of my luckier aspects. I did go to the dentist the other day, though, and she was scraping out my gums with that devilish hooking device. Oh, and she used cotton-candy flavored toothpaste. I was about to vomit.