Dude, Goldeneye is the best FPS game ever, right after Halo 3. What the fuck are you talking about Que? Man, Quake is so like "h, hey look at me....I'm exactly like Doom but with 3D graphics." Goldeneye is all like "Oh, shit there's Bond and he has twin fucking Moonrakers...RUN!!!!" and "PP7? More like PPshit. BAM BAM BAM BOOOM! "
Ok, that was a joke. I've never played Quake and the last FPS I played before Goldeneye was probably a shareware version of Doom or Doom2. Either way, Goldeneye was fucking fun and borderline amazing for someone who hadn't been fully initiated into the world of FPS games.
But now that you brought up Banjo Kazooie....yeah, that game rocks. I remember buying it after stopping in at a store on my way home from work one day, starting to play it, and then totally ditching my girlfriend because I was having so much fun. And then she yelled at me at a party later, but I was all like "Family emergency" which was kind of true.
No, no, it wasn't. It was all Banjo Kazooie baby. That was probably the turning point of my life where my productivity went out the window. I wonder how different things would be if I never bought that game. Maybe I'd be an investment banker, hate my life, and do blow every night like that was my actual career. I'd imagine a lot of prostitutes and rub and tugs, because who has the time for non paid sex when you work 70 hour weeks and fly around all the time. I'd probably have a sweet car and actually know how to wear a suit, but it wouldn't matter because the lack of sleep from my coke addiction would eventually catch up with me and I'd either suffer a nervous breakdown and get fired or just get fired for not showing up. And then, once the money dried up I'd still need my fix, but who can afford an 8 ball of coke on little to no income? And that's when it would hit me - crack. Same high, but shorter lasting and more intense for less money? Lets do that.
I'd get fully into it, and spend a lot of time in those shitty slum apartments where people go to buy crack. I wouldn't live there, because I haven't fallen that far yet, but I'd probably sleep with some girls there. I imagine I'd get some sort of venerial disease but convince myself it's cool because it's not AIDS. Depression would hit and I'd need to get high, but maybe I couldn't find any sweet, sweet rock. Fuck, what now? Whippits? Oh, wait, you have meth? Sure, why not try that out. I'm only doing it untill I can get some more crack in order to get my life back together.
Next thing you know I'm stealing shitty civics and trying to tell everyone that someone is watching me. Maybe I'd steal a car and be involved in a high speed chase. As I scream down the highway going 130k/hr in a stolen mini-van the fog would clear and I'd realize what a fuckup I've become. Too late to do anything to stop my downward slide into drug addicted poverty I'd make an irrational decision to run the roadblock. As the hail of bullets shot through the glass of the windshield a solitary tear would break free from my eye and softly caress my cheek. That would be the last thing I'd ever feel.
Yeah, that settles it. Banjo-Kazooie is probably the best game ever. It saved my life.
