I hate when I open a beer only to realize that I can't drink anymore. I can't poor that tasty bastard down the drain, so I pour it down my belly. Afterwards, I feel like drinking some more and the whole thing starts over again. I swear to God, its hard being me.
I hate talking to young people, they make me feel old. Some hot, young 15 year old was hitting on me at the mall and I had no idea what she was saying. I can't keep up with the slang kids use nowadays, it doesn't make sense to me anymore. I used to be "gnarly" and "jiggy wit it", but now my jiggy is all jiggled out.
I hate when people ask me if I shave my eyebrow. When I was three I fell on a vent and had to get stitches above my eye, it left a scar going directly down the middle of my eyebrow and hair doesn't grow there anymore. It was fine until rappers started shaving their eyebrows to look "gnarly", I'm not trying to be like Grand Master Flash or whatever hippity hop these kids listen to nowadays.
I hate spiders, I've found that most people are either afraid of spiders or snakes. Yeah, I know they help keep the bug population down, but do they really have to build those webs that I can't see until I walk into them?
I hate the Redskins, I only root for the home team...but they make being patriotic very hard. Seriously, how many times can you throw the game away in the last five minutes!? Joe Gibbs needs to be beaten to death by a bunch of sticks...no...logs!
I hate when people ask me for directions, I don't know any street names other than the one I live on. I'm sure if you go down that one street until you see Hooters, some other person can tell you where you need to go.