Topic: Let us all nominate the worst songs ever

[gpw11]

I'll go first:

"I got it from my mama" by will.i.am

There have been a lot of bad songs in the history of music, but if you dig deep enough there's usually some redeeming quality.  Maybe there's a good intro, maybe halfway through a good beat pops up for about 2 seconds, or maybe it raises valid questions (where did cotton-eye Joe come from?).  This, however, has none of these things.  The beat reminds me of third year university when a burned CD I made would always get stuck like 12 seconds into a Beatnuts song in my roommate's car.  The lyrics consist of something like 4 lines repeated over and over again, and the word count clocks in somewhere in the low 20's.  This wouldn't be the first song to make this mistake, but at least I could deal with the others because I like peaches a lot and could relate.  I can't relate to a chick telling me she's hot because her mama is banging.  Chicks don't do that because they don't want you to know what they're going to look like in 20 years.

There is a video for it, and you'd think it would at least have some eye candy, but it doesn't make up for it at all.  Every shot is ruined by will.i.am dancing around in a retarded yellow golf shirt, rubbing his pube beard on all the girls and a retarded director who thinks I'd be watching a video like that in order to check out hot lips and eyes rather than some good old fashion T&A.  There's also some fucked up kaleidoscope thing going on at one point, which also pisses me off because those were the worst toys ever. 

I've actually tried to think of a worse song, but I don't even think it's possible. 

[Xessive]

I think "My Humps" by the Black-eyed Peas is worse. I can't f*ckin' stand that song, not to mention that its retarded tune and lyrics are irritating, and just to add to the fire it was overplayed like there's no tomorrow.

[Ghandi]

I heard a song the other day that consisted almost entirely of, "let's superman that ho." It turns out that it is the number one song in America or something. I immediately lost all faith in humanity.

[scottws]

Oh that "Solja Boy" song.  Yeah I don't understand why the song is so popular.  It's a pretty crappy song, even by hip-hop standards.

[shock]

White college girls eat that shit up.

[angrykeebler]

That Milkshake song from a few years back... ::shudder::

[idolminds]

I nominate every song they play on the radio.

[gpw11]

Yes, yes, these are all excellent nominations.  Now, have you seen the Solja Boy song dance?  You really need to see it to truly appreciate the lack of class these people have.

[nickclone]

I can tell I'm going to like this topic.

Gwen Stefani - Hollaback Girl: I kinda liked No Doubt, the band was good and Stefani is an ok singer. However, ever since she's turned into one of those totally white girls that tries to be "black" and make "black music" she sucks! This song has the worst lyrics in a song ever! "TLet me hear you say this shit is bananas B-A-N-A-N-A-S"? Did someone even try to write a decent song? Is this some type of propaganda from Chiquita that supposed to make us want to eat a banana whenever this song comes on?

[NatchDan]

Anything by the Shaggs.

[Ghandi]

I nominate every song they play on the radio.

Other than some college radio stations, I agree. The college station where I go to school actually plays good music, not mainstream garbage.

[gpw11]

I can tell I'm going to like this topic.

Gwen Stefani - Hollaback Girl: I kinda liked No Doubt, the band was good and Stefani is an ok singer. However, ever since she's turned into one of those totally white girls that tries to be "black" and make "black music" she sucks! This song has the worst lyrics in a song ever! "TLet me hear you say this shit is bananas B-A-N-A-N-A-S"? Did someone even try to write a decent song? Is this some type of propaganda from Chiquita that supposed to make us want to eat a banana whenever this song comes on?

See, I'm glad you said this. This was also on my list, but I've always felt a bit unsure about it.  I think the song is completely nonsensical and retarded, but gay guys love it and if TV has taught me anything it's that gay guys are more cultured and have much more refined tastes then myself.  It's good to know I'm not alone.

As for any song on the radio, I do have to disagree because there are some good songs - just not on popular stations.  Classic rock stations probably have a 1:3 good to shitty ratio, but it only goes down from there.  Sometimes I'll be scanning and hear an awesome GnR or Nirvana song, but it will be followed up by Cisco's Thong Song.  Part of the problem is that most rock radio stations have a show dedicated to songs not played on the radio or whatnot, but they suck even more because the people listening to said show and calling in are the same people with shitty enough taste to listen to the radio hoping for the next Finger Eleven song.  Fuck those guys suck.

[gpw11]

I have a new one.  I just mentioned it, but decided to check out the video for the purpose of this discussion and it's now totally made the list.

-Band playing on rooftop...check
-muted colours...check
-lead singer making a scrunchy face even when singing quietly...check
-asian guy with long hair in a suit....what?
-weird looking mod girl...check
-fucking retarded concept that might trick 12 year old girls into thinking it's somehow philosophical...check.

Honestly, who thought up the idea for that video and who approved it?  At least with bad rap videos and 80's rock videos they sucked because of blatant laziness.  "Ok, so we're partying with a bunch of people and there's hot bitches everywhere.  Oh...and I kind of want to drive a really nice car and maybe break stuff."  That's fine, but what the fuck is up with this.

"Ok, so there's this guy in a suit who's quite obviously not a businessman walking down a deserted urban environment. He looks in the window and sees some weird shit in the reflection , but what's that?  Some sultry mod girl standing in the city as well.  He's compelled to walk over and find out what happened to everyone else. Then it happens; he can't supress the desire to dance with her anymore and like 15 fucking people jump out of them and start grinding all over each other.   Yeah, that shit is deep. 

[Raisa]

i can't remember the title of this song i hate... ithe whole song is composed of 3 words..

[nickclone]

See, I'm glad you said this. This was also on my list, but I've always felt a bit unsure about it.  I think the song is completely nonsensical and retarded, but gay guys love it and if TV has taught me anything it's that gay guys are more cultured and have much more refined tastes then myself.  It's good to know I'm not alone.

You're not insane, if anything...you're completely normal.

Pussy Cat Dolls - Don't Cha: I hate this song with a passion, theres a reason as to why only one of these chicks does all of the singing.

[Cobra951]

My problem is that I have pretty much stopped listening to most new popular music as a result of the rap conquest of the world.  The worst music ever written blares out of radios momentarily every day, as I scan my way to something else.  I can't identify it by name or "artist", and I am not in the least bit sorry about that.

[nickclone]

My problem is that I have pretty much stopped listening to most new popular music as a result of the rap conquest of the world.  The worst music ever written blares out of radios momentarily every day, as I scan my way to something else.  I can't identify it by name or "artist", and I am not in the least bit sorry about that.

You're maturing, thats what someone on these boards once told me when I couldn't identify when the music that gets played anymore. I think you may have some years on me, but I used to worship the radio and MTV, now I shake my fist at kids with green hair at the mall. If they only knew that I used to skip school and be a mall rat at that very same mall...

[Ghandi]

I dunno. Even when I was still in highschool I didn't listen to music this bad. I don't think that it is a matter of maturity as much as music just getting shitface.

As an aside, I mistyped "shittier" there and my iPod touch auto-corrected it to be shitface. I laughed.

[Pugnate]

Wow I was thinking about this earlier. Music was such a huge part of my life growing up, and now I haven't bought an album in years.

[Antares]

Vanilla Ice - Havin' a Roni.

The only good thing about this song is that it is mercifuly short, only a little over a minute long.  What the hell is a Roni?

[Pugnate]

I think it is when a married white guy meets a black girl at a bar, and then the girl gets pregnant with Siamese twins, but only one of them can survive, and the married white guy must decide which twin should live. That's a Roni.

[Quemaqua]

Nick, Cobra, and gpw pretty much sum up my own thoughts on popular music today.  I could name a million horrible songs that I hate (Stefani's would be pretty high on the list), but it would take effort for me to research what they actually are, and I don't have the time for that.  So I'll just nod and agree with the rest of you, adding that college girls (not just white) are probably the saddest, most desperately pathetic subsection of society at this point.  There are lots of others that are close, but that shit gets depressing.  I have to see them on the subway every day and it just makes me wonder what the hell happened.

[Pugnate]

I've not watched a music channel, or listened to the radio for 6 months... so I have no idea about many of these songs.

[Quemaqua]

Oh, come on.  They play the same shit out for years.  Whatever you heard 6 months ago is the same shit they're playing now, and any new material that's entered the rotation sounds exactly like the old material anyway.

[Pugnate]

I am probably wrong about it being 6 months. I think it is more like two or three years. But yea, it is probably the same old crap.

I just looked up "solja boy" on Youtube, and wish I hadn't. What language is that song in?

[MysterD]

I am probably wrong about it being 6 months. I think it is more like two or three years. But yea, it is probably the same old crap.

I just looked up "solja boy" on Youtube, and wish I hadn't. What language is that song in?

Crank That (Soulja Boy) is awful. It's basically the new hip-hop Macarena dance.

And that would be part of that "crunk" sound, from the South. It's has some Southern-slang. A lot of the "snap music" that The South keeps coming out with is a prime example of what Soulja Boy is doing -- such as D4L and Dem Franchise Boyz. Namely, "Snap music" is made by the MC normally having very simplistic raps and the DJ having simplistic beats that are really made for these purposes: just to dance to, which is made for ringtone sales, parties, and clubs.

Yeah, while other Southern MC's like Cee-Lo Green (you might know him from The Goodie Mob and even doing the Gnarls Barkley super-group thing with DJ Danger Mouse) with their lyricism basically get overlooked...Just look at "Big Ole Words (Damn)", where Cee-Lo just rips it with all kinds of lyrics filled w/ metaphors, big words, and whatnot.

Many MC's -- namely, those really crappy MC's from the South that know they fit the bill, not the ones from the South that actually have some lyrical writing ability -- took offense when Nas proclaimed "Hip-Hop Is Dead" and titled that his album last year that, as he was basically taking shots at how MC's have not been stepping up, lyrically.

Nothing was more hilarious than when recently The GZA/Genius (Of The Wu-Tang Clan) was in London and said (with a lot less explicits than I'm actually gonna type here) when he was talking about what a sad state hip-hop is currently in, that when a bunch of people in the crowd were dissing 50 Cent and Soulja Boy at his show. Basically, GZA said  "just because you got a lot of money doesn't mean you got talent." And then said, "Yeah, this will probably wind up on Youtube and the Net." He was right -- it did. LOL.

EDIT:
About BEP, I do like Will.I.Am as a beat-maker/producer, but that's about it. Just like Diddy and Timbaland,  I think Will.I.Am should just spend most of his time staying behind the boards and making beats for other artists; end of story.

Plus, the BEP group kinda' changed its focus of "social issues" basically not too long after when Kill Hill left as their "singer" and suddenly Fergie joined the group, in which they became a more "pop-orientated" type of sound.

I think the only real BEP song I ever really cared for is "Where Is The Love?"

"Where is The Love?" to me reminds of some song say a Jurassic 5 would make -- like say "Work It Out" (with Dave Matthews) or "End Up Like This".

Man, it's a damn shame that likely, J5 is not making another album anytime soon, either...

[scottws]

D, you know way too much about hip-hop.

[nickclone]

D, you know way too much about hip-hop.

Doesn't he? He schooled me on a Wu-Tang song not to long ago. Thanks for embarrassing me D.

[Pugnate]

Guess Nickclone isn't black after all!

[Ghandi]

D, you know way too much about hip-hop for a white guy.

Fixed.

[gpw11]

In case you were wondering what the first sign of the inevitable collapse of Western Society would be...

But yes, J5 is very good.  On the BEP topic, I have very mixed feelings about Fergie (Fergy?).  On one hand, she fucking sucks as 'My Humps' makes blatently obvious, although I can't blame her entirely for that since I think that was a BEP song and at least three other people are equally to blame for that garbage.  That said, I'm a bit torn because she does what she does very well....it's just that what she does suck.  I do understand that it's not marketing for me because I'm not a 15 year old girl or a gay guy (or a guy who likes to grind up on the D-floor on confused 19 year olds).  That said, someone has to do that pure pop dance anthem thing, and I'd rather have to be assaulted with that then a lot of the other options of shitty pure pop dance anthem garbage. 

At the same time, people like her don't try to insinuate that they're anything more than what they are: she knows full well she's pure pop and is fine with that.  She doesn't pretend she's anything more.  I can easily ignore bands like that...they're not my thing, whatever.   It's the other mother fuckers that I actually can't stand at all.

[Quemaqua]

This thread fills me with hate for so many people.  It's like winning the jackpot at a slot machine if the jackpot was that you got to break off the machine crank and beat the guy next to you to death with it.

[Pugnate]

I'd play that if you were sitting next to me. It would be a race to see who gets to hit who.

[ren]

Doesn't he? He schooled me on a Wu-Tang song not to long ago. Thanks for embarrassing me D.

http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=ucLcN2ftiNo