http://www.arcadeathome.com/gate.phtml?http://www.moderndrunkardmagazine.com/issues/01-04/01-04-40-things.htmI haven't done all of these things, but heres what I haven accomplished with my life:
2.) Go on a bender: I haven't done this in a while, but when I turned 21 I took ten days off of work and drank every single day of them. At the end of days I was shitting out black liquid. A few people told me it was blood, some told me it was bile and others told me to go to the hospital...I ignored them all.
3.) Drink a fifth of hard liquor, by yourself, in one day: I've done much more than that, I once drank a whole gallon of Captain Morgans after work by myself in my room.
8.) Embark on an impromptu road trip: I live in Virginia, I got hammered and woke up in Cleveland, Ohio. My friend decided to go pick up his stuff from when he left and apparently I decided to go with him. Ohio sucks ass by the way.
9.) Get 86’d from a bar: I've been kicked out of many bars, but I've only been banned from one. Some dive joint called Sharp Shooters (now closed), kicked me out because I ran up a $130 dollar tab, puked on the floor and couldn't pay it.
10.) Extravagantly overtip a bartender: I think all of us that have been drinking for awhile have done this at some point.
11.) Walk up to an attractive stranger way out of your league and buy him or her a drink: I used to do this when I first started drinking, I thought that buying a woman a drink mean't she had to bang you or at least humor you until she finished her drink. I know better now, I don't buy strangers drinks anymore.
12.) Conspire an afterhours at your favorite bar: When my friend was bartending at a redneck bar I used to stay way after they closed and drink while helping him clean up. We'd shoot pool, watch tv, play the jukebox and of course get shitfaced wasted.
15.) Get carried home by your drinking buddies: I once woke up in a dark room, sitting in a chair while staring at a bed with a person in it. I was afraid to move for two hours so I just sat there, I then realized I was in my own room and the person in my bed was just my bedsheets and pillow. I'm also not ashamed to admit that I found a turd in my pants as well.
16.) Get drunk with your father: I've never gotten drunk with my dad, but he has picked me up from school when I was blitzed...does that count?
17.) Fight a good fight: I went a bar called McFadden's in Georgetown that had a $10 cover charge and would you drink whatever you drink how much, of whatever you wanted for two hours. I later woke up in the street after fighting with bouncers and had to be thrown in a cab and taken away before the cops came.
19.) Drunkenly watch the sun come up with your best boozing buddies and a bottle: I think we've all done this, its even better with a bonfire going and someone freestyling on a guitar.
20.) Sit in on an A.A. meeting: Let me just tell you that I've had to do this a few times and its a complete waste of time. Not only am I the youngest one there, but these people have real problems. They would say they were there because if they didn't they would go to jail, their wife would leave them, some lost their families, jobs, houses and livers. When asked why I was there...I told them that my family made me go.
24.) Juice on the job: I was notorious for this one, I used to go get sauced on my lunch break and come back blitzed. I got fired for it, and rehired, that it was an ongoing joke at work. I once tried to convince my manager that I was drunk, stormed off and then promptly walked into a wall.
31.) Eat the worm: Any self respecting drunk that has ever drank tequila with a worm in it has done this. Its almost like a rite of passage.
33.) Steal some booze: I used to steal booze while waiting tables all the time. Just put in an order, get your drink and void it off.
Well, thats all, now I'm going to try and fulfill the rest.
