So there I am, walking down the street after leaving a friend's place. It's in kind of a bitchy area of town, so I parked a couple blocks away because well...I saw that spot first.
What will most likely turn out to be the biggest mistake of the week...possibly year, is that I didn't take my mp3 player out of my car earlier even though I knew it was a few blocks in each direction to get where I was going. This was about to bite me in the ass.
So, I'm standing there on the street, waiting for a light to turn when I hear this tapping noise behind me. The cosmos kind of stopped and a little voice in the back of my head screamed "DON'T YOU DARE MOTHER FUCKING TURN AROUND TO SEE WHAT THAT IS!" (alright, none of that happened...except for the tapping). So I turn around and to my suprise is a girl I used to work with having drinks in this bar/thing with a friend. She's waving.
Now when I say 'girl' you need to know that what I really mean is woman. I used to work with this chick at a grocery store....when I was like 16....in the late 90's. She was probably in her 30's at that point. She used to be very good looking, and her name is Julia. She's still good looking, but kind of old. Anyways, I wave, get waved in, go in, say hi, and they want me to sit down. We move out to the patio/deck and have some drinks. They're kind of hammered. Anyways, I'm cracking jokes and generally being as awesome as I tend to be with people I know from roughly half my life ago, and it's all good. While I'm just finishing my second delicious Caesar Julia gets up, says she has to take off, and as I go to do the same, the friend says I should stay. The waiter is right there and I fucking love drinking, so why not. Order a beer, sit down, talk for a bit. The beer comes, Julia's friend looks at me and says something like "You better chug that because we're about to leave." I'm confused, she gives me the "you're a moron look" and her leg rubs mine.
AWESOME. I'd place in her in her mid 40's which is a bit old for me, but it's far from the stupidest thing I've done for a story I figure will be awesome and she's kind of a MILF. So I pound said drink, take off with her walk basically right to where my car is parked and surprise, it's pretty much parked in front of her duplex. So, we go in there and bla bla bla, long story short: What turned awesome slowly turned very very awkward as I realized that this woman was aggressively taking control of the situation and pretty much raping me. Trying to convince me to do things I don't want to do, mother fucking scratching me, borderline yelling, and the art in her house...MY MOM OWNS LIKE ALL OF THE SAME SHITTY ART.
So without going into any details, I'm basically trying to get out of there, but it's not really working because I'm not at the point yet where I can be a total dick and be all like "fuck this, I'm out", yet ever time I kind of tried to posture to that conclusion she'd do something really aggressive like pull my goddamn hair and say something really really dirty. Don't get me wrong, if I was more drunk and her skin wasn't in the first stage of turning into 50 year old lady skin it'd still be an awesome story, but as it was it was just really really weird. Oh, and her coasters on her bedside table.....MY GRANDMA HAD THOSE COASTERS.
So I'm kind of just hoping to get this over with and get the fuck out, but when I do 'get this over with' she goes right back at it and I don't actually have the chance. It's not like I'm pinned down, but there's no opening to casually break and go and by this point I figure she feeds off fear so I can't openly show it. Anyways, my mind is racing and I'm looking for any chance I get.
About 20 min. later, as this is going on she kind of looks around and see's me looking at the clock intensely as I try to figure out what lie I can possibly think of that makes it so I have to be somewhere by 10 PM on a monday night. Sadly, I can't think of shit, and I'm really good at doing this. BAM! That does it. "Are you seriously looking at the fucking clock?!" to which I throw out "Yeah, sorry ...I have to pick someone up? AT ten! and was just seeing how much time we had?" She heard the panic in my voice...the game was over.
So, i finished making hate to her, and left. As I walked out the door apologizing for not telling her earlier about my prior obligation she yelled (and this is the fucked thing) whist smiling like the mother fucking Joker "You're not sorry, but whatever! Have fun with your 10:00!!"
Normally I'd feel bad about this kind of thing, but as it is I just feel violated. Like I'm taking a second shower in about three min., getting into bed, and curling into the fetal position.
