Author Topic: DON'T FUCK WITH CRAZY  (Read 3129 times)

Offline gpw11

  • Gold Member
  • *
  • Posts: 7,182
DON'T FUCK WITH CRAZY
« on: Sunday, February 01, 2009, 05:23:31 PM »
I’ve been hooking up with this chick for the last few weeks.  This is the girl that I was going to pull a three-way off with.  Generally, it’s pretty good because a.) she’s hot, b.) she’s a complete freak, and c.) I don’t have to talk to her at all on days we’re not hooking up.   That said, last night was pretty fucked up.

This girl is my age, but has two kids I’ve never seen.  I totally don’t care because I got over my single mom thing a few months ago and like I said, I never see them.  As far as I’m concerned they don’t exist.  Now, I’ve asked some prying questions and found out neither of these kids were accidental.  This is pertinent because I have theories on the types of people who live in modern day urban areas and decide to have kids young.  The guys involved are usually fucking crazy, because why the fuck else would you ruin your life at 20?  Stupid or crazy.

I’m tied to this chick’s bed last night (awesome) and she goes to the bathroom.  It’s like 2 AM and so I break the Velcro cuff things loose to go get a drink and likewise go to the bathroom.  As I’m walking back to her room I notice a shadow visible through the glass on the front door and the sound like someone is trying to jimmy a lock.  I suppose I should have thought more of it at the time, but I’ve lived in some fucked up houses and really didn’t see it as being all that unusual.  I figured the person living in the suite downstairs was hammered and couldn’t get the key in the lock I guess.  I went back to the bedroom and hooked up with this chick again.  About an hour or so later I got up to get a drink again and noticed that the same shit was going on with the front door. This time I thought it was kind of fucking strange, and told her about it.  She FREAKS the fuck out.   Not like ‘a stranger is trying to break in’ kind of freaking the fuck out, but more like a ‘oh no, not this again kind of freak out’.  She tries calling someone a couple times, gets dressed, builds up the courage to go to the door, and as she’s walking down she tells me to stay in the kitchen and to ‘get ready to get into a fight’.  GREAT.  Now I have to fight some crazy motherfucker  when my back is so fucked up I can barely walk. 

She comes back up, proclaims it a false alarm and starts to make out again.  I’m kind of an idiot because I didn’t ask any of the three questions I really should have asked;
1.)   Who was that?
2.)   Who did you think that was?
3.)   Am I going to get stabbed or receive some sort of blunt force trauma?
I quickly forgot (sort of), and had a good night/morning.  As I’m leaving this morning she mentions how she’s out of coffee.  Being the gentleman that I pretend to be sometimes I offer to pick her up a can when I leave and drop it off on my way back home.  She’s down.  I leave to go to the store to get me a coffee and her a can of the shit.  I’m gone about ten min.   On the drive back she calls and asks what I am doing.  Before I can answer, she tells me she’ll call back in a kind of nervous voice.  So, I’m a little worried about what’s going down (mainly if I’m about to get stabbed), and I drive back.  When I get to her place there is another car parked in her driveway, her door is open, and I can hear some dude just fucking screaming and losing it.  GREAT. AGAIN. 

So, now I’m at a bit of a crossroads.  I know a few things about this guy from shit she’s mentioned in passing; he’s a huge pussy but he’s angry.  He’s apparently obsessed with her.  She has to lie to him about other guys.  He’s easily way bigger than me.  He’s either crazy, stupid, or both.  The last one is my assessment, the other ones are all hearsay, and I don’t know if I can take a chick’s opinion of her ex at face value.   

I basically have two options; I can park, get out of the car and make sure everything is alright, or I can take off. Both are kind of bad ideas.   If it’s a full blown fight I MIGHT be able to beat this guy, but if it’s a pushing war I’m probably done.   That said, growing up small and scrappy has made me realize that I’m more willing to lose a fight than most people are to get into a fight at all.  After like 3 seconds I decide that absolutely no good can come from me getting out of the car.  This guy had her son, so he’s probably standing there, she’s probably lying to him saying no one was there (the illusion kind of disappears the second I walk in), and it’s not really my place to get involved.  I can walk away without ever having to deal with these two idiots again, but they have a kid and have to deal with each other for a long time.  So, I take off and park down the block.

At first I keep on going over it in my mind and thinking I may have made the wrong decision.  What if he’s enough of a dumbass that he’ll hit her or something?  And then I broke my DS out of my glove box and instantly forgot about the whole situation as I shot the fuck out of some aliens.  Like 20 min later she calls me to find out where I was and to come back.  I explained what went down on my side, and she said it was the right thing to do.  Okay, but the thing that’s kind of fucking creepy is she said he went in RIGHT after I left and said he saw me leave.  I didn’t pass that car on the way out (I’m pretty sure I’d remember because it’s kind of a unique paint colour and a friend I used to work with has the exact same car.  I probably would have checked to see if it was him if we passed), so this motherfucker was probably waiting in his car with his kid for me to leave.   On one hand it’s great because he’s at least sensible enough to not try to fight a total stranger over a girl he banged like 5 years ago, but on the other it’s just fucking creepy.

I think I’ll probably bang her again, but I’ll probably wear running shoes....or steel toes.

Offline W7RE

  • Post-aholic
  • *****
  • Posts: 2,780
Re: DON'T FUCK WITH CRAZY
« Reply #1 on: Sunday, February 01, 2009, 05:35:43 PM »
I've got a mental image of you running down the street wearing absolutely nothing but some running shoes and socks, and her watching the guy chase you with a WTF look on her face.

Offline MysterD

  • Forum god
  • *
  • Posts: 18,049
  • OWNet 4 Eternity & Beyond
Re: DON'T FUCK WITH CRAZY
« Reply #2 on: Sunday, February 01, 2009, 06:46:25 PM »
That's one hell of a crazy story to try to digest...

Offline Ghandi

  • Senior Member
  • *
  • Posts: 4,804
  • HAMS
Re: DON'T FUCK WITH CRAZY
« Reply #3 on: Sunday, February 01, 2009, 09:14:56 PM »
Well it was right of you not to go in there when he was next to his son / ex - that would not have been a good situation.

But at the same time, if he wanted to fight you, he would have gone in when you were there. He wouldn't have waited. You shouldn't be scared of him. You should probably talk to him. It would be for the best.

Offline gpw11

  • Gold Member
  • *
  • Posts: 7,182
Re: DON'T FUCK WITH CRAZY
« Reply #4 on: Sunday, February 01, 2009, 10:15:42 PM »
I've got a mental image of you running down the street wearing absolutely nothing but some running shoes and socks, and her watching the guy chase you with a WTF look on her face.

I laughed pretty hard at that.

Well it was right of you not to go in there when he was next to his son / ex - that would not have been a good situation.

But at the same time, if he wanted to fight you, he would have gone in when you were there. He wouldn't have waited. You shouldn't be scared of him. You should probably talk to him. It would be for the best.

Well, that's the thing - I'm not scared of fighting him, I'm more worried about having to interact with him at all and I didn't know he was waiting until after the fact a bit, but you're right about that.  Like I said, I used to be pretty scrappy and I'm not really all that worried about getting my ass kicked.  If it was some completely unrelated stranger on the street then fine, I'd probably try to avoid it anyways now because I'm 27 and it's kind of juvenile to be getting into fights unless you absolutely have to, but I wouldn't really worry about it at all.  In this case though, it's probably unlikely I can interact with him at all and come out on top. The fact is that I should avoid it turning into a fight period, just because it's a lot more serious to both of them then it is to me and I can't really come out of it looking good or feeling good about it. We get in a fight and I look like an asshole either way.  End of story.

I'd agree about talking to him, but again, it's not really my place to get involved at all.  For this guy, this chick, and the kid it's their lives.  For me it's a weekend.  Chances are I'll be telling a funny story about it at the bar or at work the next day/week and they'll be in the middle of weird drama for quite a while longer.  It's not like I'm marrying this chick or even in a serious relationship, and it's not like they recently broke up - apparently it was like 5 years ago and she's had serious long term boyfriends since then so you'd imagine this guy has had the talk we'd be talking about before and it didn't make him any less of a jealous douche.  Obviously, if it comes down to it and he busts in on us, I'd try to have this talk, but I can't imagine it working out either way.  I'll probably instigate a fight because I loooove being lippy when people are trying to be stupid-tough, but obviously that wouldn't be the thing to do.  I think if it really came down to it I'd have to try to consciously force myself to be completely reasonable and maybe just take a punch without fighting back.  At least I wouldn't be that guy that's seemingly fighting over some broad with her ex.  That seems a little cheesy cliche.

I'm not really concerned about a confrontation because of what might happen to me; I'm more concerned about inadvertently making a situation worse for a group of people who have to deal with each other for at least 15 years because I don't know what to do.


Offline Ghandi

  • Senior Member
  • *
  • Posts: 4,804
  • HAMS
Re: DON'T FUCK WITH CRAZY
« Reply #5 on: Sunday, February 01, 2009, 10:26:58 PM »
Well, obviously what I've said has been based upon the assumption that you want something other than to just get in her pants. If you don't really like her, I'd walk away.

My comment before - "You shouldn't be scared of him" - was probably badly worded. I was trying to say that there probably wouldn't be a fight. And if there is, I don't really care which of you would win. Either way it would probably be a good story on here.

Offline gpw11

  • Gold Member
  • *
  • Posts: 7,182
Re: DON'T FUCK WITH CRAZY
« Reply #6 on: Sunday, February 01, 2009, 10:42:23 PM »
Don't get me wrong - I like her more than I like most chicks.  She's cool, hot, and a total freak.  She's also apparently worth millions of dollars which totally gets images going in my mind of a sugar mama. I probably would be down for more, but it's not like it's really going anywhere.  She has two kids and runs like three businesses from her house.  I live like 35-40 min away, refuse to drive there in traffic, and go to school full time and work full time.  Oh, and I love keg parties, bars, road trips and drinking game tournaments. I don't think there's much serious relationship potential there.

Offline Ghandi

  • Senior Member
  • *
  • Posts: 4,804
  • HAMS
Re: DON'T FUCK WITH CRAZY
« Reply #7 on: Sunday, February 01, 2009, 10:47:31 PM »
Well I would question why you'd fuck with crazy...but you're gpw. There's no real explanation. It is what it is. I mine as well ask the sun to stop being so fucking bright all the time.

Offline gpw11

  • Gold Member
  • *
  • Posts: 7,182
Re: DON'T FUCK WITH CRAZY
« Reply #8 on: Sunday, February 01, 2009, 11:12:11 PM »
Haha.  Because it's still totally fun?  I don't know, it seems like it'd be a bit extreme to stop being tied to a bed just because some dude can't handle his shit.  Besides, if I stopped getting in stupid situations there'd be way less awesome stories in the world.

Offline Ghandi

  • Senior Member
  • *
  • Posts: 4,804
  • HAMS
Re: DON'T FUCK WITH CRAZY
« Reply #9 on: Sunday, February 01, 2009, 11:20:36 PM »
Yeah, absolutely. I'm on board.

I just forgot that I had to abandon any sort of traditional response to the situation with your post.

I can't imagine a world in which you *aren't* tied to a bed in some chicks house with some crazy guy trying to break in. And I'm quite genuine when I say that. It makes me feel happy to know that you could be in some crazy fucking situation at any given moment. I relish it.

Offline gpw11

  • Gold Member
  • *
  • Posts: 7,182
Re: DON'T FUCK WITH CRAZY
« Reply #10 on: Sunday, February 01, 2009, 11:33:01 PM »
It's kind of calmed down over the last year or so, but when you put it that way it sounds so much more.....wrong.

Offline Quemaqua

  • 古い塩
  • Administrator
  • Forum god
  • *
  • Posts: 16,498
  • パンダは触るな。
    • Bookruptcy
Re: DON'T FUCK WITH CRAZY
« Reply #11 on: Monday, February 02, 2009, 01:10:55 AM »
A post in response to a thread like this must needs be either: A- pure disgust, or B- a thumbs up.  Enjoy the story, pick one, leave the thread feeling cheery.

天才的な閃きと平均以下のテクニックやな。 課長有野

Offline Xessive

  • Gold Member
  • *
  • Posts: 9,920
    • XSV @ deviantART
Re: DON'T FUCK WITH CRAZY
« Reply #12 on: Monday, February 02, 2009, 01:27:11 PM »
This is just another example of why you need to get this shit in a book gpw!

"The Lives and Loves of GPW... Batteries Not Included."