the humble salt grinderI can possibly excuse adjustable salt grinders, on the basis that they have some minimal utility, but I am convinced that the non-adjustable salt grinder was invented either by an idiot or by someone on a quest to provide a complete line of kitchen amenities for people who are in any case too stupid and alcohol-soaked to work near open flame.
If you're reading this at home, I want you to look in your pantry. If you have a salt grinder, and you have never adjusted the setting on it, please punch yourself in the face. It's fucking salt. It's not as though it tastes any saltier just because you had to do work to put it on your food.
If you are perhaps thinking that you need a
salt grinder to create visual symmetry with your
pepper grinder, I would point out that even beyond salt and pepper there are many kinds of dry dead things that taste great on food. Rather than pissing your fortunes away on pointless mechanical abominations, you would be better served by investing in a proper spice rack. Indeed, most civilized peoples would be repulsed or even nauseated by your weak library of garnishes. You should be ashamed, you filthy barbarian.
In summary, please take my advice and punch yourself.
With love,
xxx
