Topic: Need Some Advice

[nickclone]

Ok, I'm kinda drunk and this is kinda complicated, so I'll try to be somewhat thorough.

As of right now my best friend is a woman, we went to highschool together, but I didn't really become good friends with her until a year ago. She was seeing a friend of mine, after she got done seeing another friend of mine. We started hanging out and now we're BFFs. A couple of months ago she told me she liked my friend, so I was ok with that and tried to hook them up. It didn't really work out and I told her not to bang him (half jokingly), but then she used my phone and sent him a text as me saying that they shouldn't have sex. She also made me swore not to tell him that it wasn't her and that it was me.

We've all hung out a few times, nothing has ever come out of it, but she's had boyfriends and I've met most of them. Last week some dude she met online invited himself to a friend's birthday bash, they met at her house so after they dropped me off, they went back to her house and he wouldn't leave. She ended up fucking him, but swore it was because he wouldn't leave and she was drunk. She says she regrets it and she'll never drink again. She also told me that she called my friend that we both hang out with at 12 am because she was bored and they talked for three hours. When I said I hadn't talked to him, she sounded surprised that he didn't talk to me or bring it up.This guy calls me all the time, but he didn't call me at all today, when I called him when I got off work he didn't mention anything about the fact that they talked. It gets worse...

She has an STD, one that doesn't go away, but isn't life threatening. I've gone to the clinic with her for moral support, but this is what I can't deal with. I can't drive because of my DWI and we work together, she picks me up, we go to work and she drops me off. She's been more...lovingly towards me recently, but thats not the problem either. I want you guys to tell me why I'm suddenly so jealous when she even talks about another guy, even though we're not dating and I don't plan to date her. It's starting to make me paranoid and I don't like it.

I've read that alcoholics don't feel emotions (and I don't feel many), but why is it that the only emotion that she can get a rise out of me is jealousy?

[Cobra951]

You have something with her that you're afraid to lose.  That's why the jealousy.  It doesn't have to be mad love, just something special you might lose if she goes off with another guy.

[nickclone]

You have something with her that you're afraid to lose.  That's why the jealousy.  It doesn't have to be mad love, just something special you might lose if she goes off with another guy.

But I've met her other boyfriends, even a fiance, I just don't get why I have the jealousy now. I mean she is hot and I would sleep with her, even though I know it would be weird later. I don't know, I just can't make sense of the situation.

[Pugnate]

Maybe you are at a stage of your life where you hold stronger meaning for relationships than you used to.

[Cobra951]

And maybe your feelings for her have grown.  Again, I don't think it has to be mad love.  The green monster arises out of insecurity, fear of great loss.

[Xessive]

What those guys said.. yeah. 







But seriously.. Your jealousy is likely coming from your endearment over the time you've spent together. It grows, and having someone step into your expanding territory can stimulate such an emotional reaction, even when intellectually you believe it shouldn't.

[nickclone]

So, how do I stop being jealous and paranoid?

[beo]

kill yourself or cut your balls off.

[angrykeebler]

call a sex line

cry deeply

demand a refund

[sirean_syan]

Alright, now we're just getting into this territory.

[nickclone]

How about I drink some more beer?

[Quemaqua]

There really isn't any good, reliable way to get rid of it, sadly, except to focus your energies in other things and people.  And even that doesn't work entirely.  But yeah, having a beautiful woman as your best friend is a very difficult thing.  I lost mine this year and it was far and away the worst experience of my life.

[Xessive]

Man, we're all such hopeless romantics..

[gpw11]

How about I drink some more beer?

This only works if you either get into a fight after or end up picking up a chick WHO IS NOT A DITCH PIG.

Seriously, you know what gets rid of jealousy and paranoia?  Realizing that you're a fucking rock star and way better than whoever and whatever has you feeling that way.



Edit:  Or, some people (pussies) say exercise helps everything. Set a goal with something to take your mind of shit...it's not usually worth worrying about anyways.

 

[nickclone]

Ok, so she took all of music that I played on her computer while house sitting and burned it on a CD, but I have to force her to take my gas money, I got her into to football and we love the same team (despite her family), but she won't let me buy her the jersey that she said she wants.

Now my friend, who is in the hospital for an illness...the guy I was mentioning earlier, just told me that he got 15 texts from her while I was talking to him on the phone. I know he's exaggerating and he claims he doesn't get receptions where he's at and they were probably old. However, he had no problem getting my texts earlier. So, is she really texting him like crazy or is he trying to make me jealous? I really don't like this jealousy thing, it's one of the few emotions that I don't know how to deal with and only gets worse with my excessive drinking.

[Ghandi]

Realize that most guys lie their asses off when it comes to women.

Also, there is a strong correlation between jealousy and trust.

[nickclone]

Realize that most guys lie their asses off when it comes to women.

Also, there is a strong correlation between jealousy and trust.

So you think he's lying just to mess with me?

Are you saying that I should trust her? She said she liked him at first (which I didn't care about then), but later said she didn't. When I jokingly (kinda) told her not to bang him she sent him a text, as me, saying that he better not make any moves on her and he said he wouldn't.

I've just never been put in this kind of situation before and I'm really confused about what to do about it. For reasons that I won't say here, I don't think we could be together as a couple, but I don't want to be replaced by him with my role in her life.

Edit: I sound like a whiny emo kid...