Author Topic: Slow board. US Army vs. 100 trillion lions (Read 4290 times)

shock · « **on:** Sunday, October 09, 2011, 12:24:20 PM »

Who wins?

Assume regular lions with a moderate level of hunger.

I got my money on the lions. It sorta depends where they came from/how they spawned, but that's just so many lions. Like all ground troops will definitely be overwhelmed. Planes may help, but they only have so many bombs and they can't fly forever. I imagine landing on a lion infested runway would be hard.

Cobra951 · « **Reply #1 on:** Sunday, October 09, 2011, 12:30:39 PM »

100 trillion lions? I don't think any army has enough ordnance to repel that, even if the lions are slow.

scottws · « **Reply #2 on:** Sunday, October 09, 2011, 01:47:02 PM »

Lions for sure. At population levels like that, they only way to win would be to introduce some sort of biological agent like ebola for lions.

Edit: Even if all 6+ billion people on Earth were part of the U.S. Army, I still think lions would win.

It would be like Starship Troopers, except without the "brain bug" weakness.

sirean_syan · « **Reply #3 on:** Sunday, October 09, 2011, 02:00:13 PM »

Of course, we'd have to accept some sort of scorched Earth policy.

scottws · « **Reply #4 on:** Sunday, October 09, 2011, 02:08:51 PM »

Quote from: sirean_syan on Sunday, October 09, 2011, 02:00:13 PM

Of course, we'd have to accept some sort of scorched Earth policy.

Wow, I feel stupid. I always thought "Nuke the site for morbid" never made any sense.

angrykeebler · « **Reply #5 on:** Sunday, October 09, 2011, 07:39:31 PM »

the US army has tanks though and no amount of lions can pierce armor....the tank driver might run out of fuel but all he has to do is wait inside. then it becomes a waiting game as the lions start to starve and eat each other. eventually all the lions will die and the tank operators will still be inside their tanks with provisions.

u.s army wins

idolminds · « **Reply #6 on:** Sunday, October 09, 2011, 09:00:41 PM »

When we say "army" do you mean the entire US military or specifically the Army? Otherwise the Navy could handle it pretty well since lions wont swim out to the ships.

scottws · « **Reply #7 on:** Sunday, October 09, 2011, 09:04:21 PM »

Heh. Kind of reminds me of lions vs. tuna as proposed in The Other Guys.

shock · « **Reply #8 on:** Monday, October 10, 2011, 12:10:09 AM »

Quote from: idolminds on Sunday, October 09, 2011, 09:00:41 PM

When we say "army" do you mean the entire US military or specifically the Army? Otherwise the Navy could handle it pretty well since lions wont swim out to the ships.

I meant just Army, but Navy is an interesting idea. They could definitely just shell the lions from a few hundred feet offshore, but they would run out of ammo eventually. And they would also run out of supplies, like food/etc. They'd have to dock, and when they did, the lions would be waiting.

Quote from: angrykeebler on Sunday, October 09, 2011, 07:39:31 PM

the US army has tanks though and no amount of lions can pierce armor....the tank driver might run out of fuel but all he has to do is wait inside. then it becomes a waiting game as the lions start to starve and eat each other. eventually all the lions will die and the tank operators will still be inside their tanks with provisions.

u.s army wins

But if the lions were eating each other, there would still be plenty of lions. And even half of them ate the other half, there would be 50 trillion. I don't know how much food an average tank carries, but I doubt it is more than a few days worth. They'd have to get out to get water pretty soon after, too. And when they did... the lions would be waiting.

sirean_syan · « **Reply #9 on:** Monday, October 10, 2011, 12:44:36 AM »

Quote from: shock on Monday, October 10, 2011, 12:10:09 AM

Quote from: Idol
When we say "army" do you mean the entire US military or specifically the Army? Otherwise the Navy could handle it pretty well since lions wont swim out to the ships.
I meant just Army, but Navy is an interesting idea. They could definitely just shell the lions from a few hundred feet offshore, but they would run out of ammo eventually. And they would also run out of supplies, like food/etc. They'd have to dock, and when they did, the lions would be waiting.

Couldn't they just travel to another landmass?

scottws · « **Reply #10 on:** Monday, October 10, 2011, 03:38:49 AM »

There are 100 trillion lions. They are everywhere. Even Antarctica.

Cobra951 · « **Reply #11 on:** Monday, October 10, 2011, 05:43:00 AM »

They could split into a million groups of a hundred million lions. Or 10 million groups of 10 million lions. Sufficient nuking from orbit would extinguish the biosphere. Then what?

Or, the army could abandon landmasses entirely, and establish bases at sea. But they'd need the navy for that, and there's too much rivalry. So they still lose.

ren · « **Reply #12 on:** Monday, October 10, 2011, 08:01:23 AM »

The lions wouldn't make it through the winter so the cold of the north would be a logical place to start a systematic killing spree. Humans wouldn't need much land since we could eat lion meat and get our clothing from lion pelts.

But really if you take 100 trillion lions and divide them by the earth's land mass, you'd get almost 700,000 lions per square kilometer. If the lions ever figured out a way to do that, we have no chance.

shock · « **Reply #13 on:** Monday, October 10, 2011, 08:13:25 AM »

I guess it would be critical to establish where the lions are and how they got there, to some extent. Like, if they just spawned evenly distributed on all of the land in the world, we'd be totally fucked. Like 10 would appear in everyone's house/etc.

But if they appeared in like Africa, it wouldn't really make sense either. Too many in too small of an area. And too easy to isolate.

Harumph.

PyroMenace · « **Reply #14 on:** Monday, October 10, 2011, 08:20:37 AM »

I'm sure if we could get organized enough we could funnel them in spots then set them on fire. I wonder how lion meat tastes...

gpw11 · « **Reply #15 on:** Monday, October 10, 2011, 07:55:24 PM »

What percentage of these lions are mechanized?

ren · « **Reply #16 on:** Tuesday, October 11, 2011, 03:16:58 PM »

iPPi · « **Reply #17 on:** Tuesday, October 11, 2011, 03:40:26 PM »

We need to get Kevin Richardson's help.

gpw11 · « **Reply #18 on:** Tuesday, October 11, 2011, 08:12:49 PM »

Quote from: ren on Tuesday, October 11, 2011, 03:16:58 PM

16%

That may be problematic. I was thinking that if we had any kind of advance warning at all, we could develop the ultimate anti-lion weapon (giant steel ball you sit in with 360 degree flame throwers and the ability to launch napalm like motherfuckers). That's still a shit ton of non-flammable lions though.

idolminds · « **Reply #19 on:** Tuesday, October 11, 2011, 08:41:07 PM »

If we win, fur coats for everyone!

beo · « **Reply #20 on:** Wednesday, October 12, 2011, 08:51:08 AM »

Definitely the lions. US army are a bunch of PUSSIES.

angrykeebler · « **Reply #21 on:** Wednesday, October 12, 2011, 02:33:52 PM »

y u mad england?

beo · « **Reply #22 on:** Wednesday, October 12, 2011, 04:57:31 PM »

yeah, well if france and spain hadn't backed you up, you'd be spelling "colour" correctly, damn you.

scottws · « **Reply #23 on:** Wednesday, October 12, 2011, 06:32:23 PM »

If the U.S. didn't back you up in WWII, you'd be spelling it "farbe" today.

shock · « **Reply #24 on:** Wednesday, October 12, 2011, 07:12:16 PM »

Pugnate · « **Reply #25 on:** Thursday, October 13, 2011, 01:12:34 PM »

I don't think the question is who wins. I think the question is how do the hundred trillion lions survive after they are done eating the soldiers?

PyroMenace · « **Reply #26 on:** Sunday, October 16, 2011, 02:41:53 AM »

I think after the lion on human war, they will move onto the wild life. And since lions can't climb trees, maybe the apes will come out on top?

idolminds · « **Reply #27 on:** Monday, October 17, 2011, 10:05:50 AM »

The apes shall rise again!

Thats technically a win for us, right?

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Author Topic: Slow board. US Army vs. 100 trillion lions (Read 4290 times)