I have no free time, money, or energy. What the fuck did I do wrong??
So, I was dating this American chick for maybe the last three months. She lives probably about an hour away, which, as far as I'm concerned, is the perfect distance. I totally didn't want to find this chick amazing, because I was still rolling on my self-imposed sabbatical, but I guess I did. She was hot and hillarious, and a pretty legitimate person. I'd roll down on a weekend, spend the night, roll back up the next day and we'd literally talk every day. It was coo. Also, we never fully slept together. This is probably the reason for the hangup (I know myself)
So, I cancelled some cabin plans last weekend in order to go down and see her, and she in turns cancels our plans together because of some "male drama". I'm not a self-conscious or dramatic person, and shit happens, so I didn't pry. It goes on for a few more days and eventually I broach the subject and it turns out some dude she works with (in a salon??) that she was seeing for a year but he'd never commit (seriously, a fucking salon?) , also wouldn't let her move on (I can't even think of a job a dude should be doing in a salon. They don't cut hair - I asked), and he was all verbally abusive and giving her a hard time. Now, from prior experience I'd cut and run the second I hear of an ex who wouldn't commit unless I was just sleeping with the chick, but without me asking this girl put forth that she "really really really likes me and really wants to hang out as soon as all this is over". That, plus the verbally abusive comment (salon dudes be uppity?) lead me to believe she's just having a rough go of it, and I'll wait around.
So, we're still talking for the next week, playing words with friends and whatever, but she's not really there. You know, when all of a sudden you start worrying if you're texting too much or if the other person is really in or not. So, I took drastic measures: I put the question out to the harem of women that I've previously dated, slept with, or had a semi-relationship with and still talk to and let them make the call. Stay or go. The answer was unanimous - get the fuck out.
So, boom. The next day (thursday), I told her whats up and that I'm sorry I can't really be there for her, but it's hard on myself and when she sorts her stuff out either way to let me know and we can go from there. She came back telling me she's sorted - other dude is gone. I'm all "Great, how about I roll down Saturday and we do a fun cross-border date". And then she tells me she doesn't feel like she's in the head space to date, but it'd be great if we could still talk until she sorts herself out emotionally. So, I obviously told her that nothing has changed on my end. Its hard for me to talk to her while I'm invested in her, I'm not a guy that has any problem being alone, but realistically, the easiest way to get over her is to just casually date other chicks and I'm not going to be able to do that without feeling disingenuous to any of them as long as I'm still invested in her, so it's cyclical and this is the the only way. There's a 99% probably that I'm not going to actually be involved in anything serious with anyone else so she should totally let me know if she gets in a better headspace in the meantime.
I think that's perfectly honest and reasonable. And yet, I'm left feeling like a total asshole and still pretty sad about the whole thing. WHAT THE FUCK?
Also, 14 hours later and I have three dates lined up. I'm a stone cold pimp.
Finally, if you ever end up with waist herpes, just tell chicks about it right away. I'm amazed, but I haven't had a single one care yet. Actually, one did, but that was a totally different issue.
