Author Topic: DONT ASK ABOUT FAKE BREASTS EVER  (Read 7841 times)

Offline gpw11

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DONT ASK ABOUT FAKE BREASTS EVER
« on: Friday, August 10, 2012, 12:31:09 AM »
So, I've been dating this girl and she has a pretty hot body. We've hung out two times, slept together twice (pertinent information). Last night was the second time. Incidentially, I realized that she made ridiculous sex faces and kind of had a sex face that I couldn't handle, but that's neither here nor there. What is important is I realized that she had fake breasts.  Or rather one fake breast.  Well, I realized the former, she revealed the latter.

Literally, a minute after we were finished, I was all like "YO! You gots fake tits?" (or something more diplomatic). She responded that she did indeed have one fake breast (correct lopsidedness, not to compensate for a removal).  I asked her the story, she told it. I said that they worked out "okay".

Note that this girl has amazing breasts (is it singular if only one is actually real), which she should be well aware of by now considering how I'd be all like "Oh, hey!  Great tits". I'm a sarcastic motherfucker, and "okay" would have strictly fallen into the obviously being a sarcastic asshole category.

Anyways, the girl kicked me out.  This was kind of awesome because it was late, I wanted to go anyways, the sex face thing was REALLY throwing me off and I didn't know how to deal with that without lying. Also because shit got awkward fast.  Fast enough that I didn't really know what set her off.


I got a giant text train from her today.  Don't reply, don't speak to her, ever. Never, ever ask a woman if she has fake breasts unless you know her very well. And never tell her they are okay (real, fake, or half and half) after "manhandling" her (weirdest term for not freaky sex ever). I'm extremely rude and offensive for doing so.

Lady, I just "manhandled" you.   I pulled your hair, you told me to slap your ass, and then you called yourself a slut. Asking about your one fake breast was the least rude or offensive thing that probably went on there.

And that's how things turned sour with my new neighbour.  Before I actually even moved in.

Offline scottws

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Re: Re: DONT ASK ABOUT FAKE BREASTS EVER
« Reply #1 on: Friday, August 10, 2012, 03:50:49 AM »
Good times.

I don't have much to add other than I hate fake boobs. Sometimes fake boobs can look great under a shirt but they are just alien and gross naked. That's why I never understood why they are so popular with strippers and porn stars, the very last group of women that I think should get them.

Offline Pugnate

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Re: DONT ASK ABOUT FAKE BREASTS EVER
« Reply #2 on: Friday, August 10, 2012, 05:20:36 AM »
You were in the bedroom with her. Whatever went on in there, and she liked... well that was sex. It was about getting off. If she liked her ass being slapped, or herself called a 'slut', it was something that made her enjoy the sex more.

She seems like she is sensitive about the breast thing. I don't know. Try to be understanding?

Also, I just don't get the "good times" from Scott. It seems like a real high five.

Cultural differences I guess. I feel bad for her that you are talking about her that way outside of when you were intimate, but I am sure she knew she was getting into it with a man slut (that's not supposed to be an insult. Just an observation.)

Are you going to go about this all your life? Do you not want to have real intimacy with someone? Are you incapable of it? (Not a criticism. Just an observation. I am not saying your lifestyle is bad or good.)

Serious question. Have you ever made love to someone as opposed to fucking them?
« Last Edit: Friday, August 10, 2012, 01:33:52 PM by Pugnate »

Offline idolminds

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Re: DONT ASK ABOUT FAKE BREASTS EVER
« Reply #3 on: Friday, August 10, 2012, 09:24:58 AM »
Never, ever ask a woman if she has fake breasts unless you know her very well.
I find it funny that this apparently comes after sex in the relationship timeline.

Offline sirean_syan

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Re: DONT ASK ABOUT FAKE BREASTS EVER
« Reply #4 on: Friday, August 10, 2012, 09:42:29 AM »
I sort of hate the idea of responding with images and videos, but I can't help myself today.

Quote from: Pug
Are you going to go about this all your life? Do you not want to have real intimacy with someone? Are you incapable of it? (Not a criticism. Just an observation. I am not saying your lifestyle is bad or good.)

Serious question. Have you ever made love to someone as opposed to fucking them?



My imagined response from GPW:



Offline K-man

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Re: DONT ASK ABOUT FAKE BREASTS EVER
« Reply #5 on: Friday, August 10, 2012, 09:55:14 AM »

Offline Pugnate

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Re: DONT ASK ABOUT FAKE BREASTS EVER
« Reply #6 on: Friday, August 10, 2012, 01:35:50 PM »
hahahaha...

We've been watching GPW post about his entertaining sexcapades for a while. I am starting to feel sorry for these women. Is this what they are looking for? Some guy who masturbates inside them, and then mocks them while sharing sex stories with buds? Is this how it is?

I am pretty sure that a lot of us can tell you that there is something more satisfying about being vulnerable to someone, and them being vulnerable back during physical intimacy. Of course, if that person walks all over you, then it really sucks, and it requires a lot of friends to get over ;). But I know people who were sexually active with many partners, until they found someone they could connect with. I mean really connect with. Suddenly they get it.

So I wonder if that's not truly for GPW, or if he is simply afraid of going there?

I think that woman GPW posted about, who had a bad previous relationship, and wanted to take time to see where things go. I think she sounded pretty nice. Maybe for a change GPW can look for a different sort of girlfriend. Someone who wants to be in a committed relationship before physical intimacy.

I am just interested. Do you feel at all empty with this lifestyle, or does it absolutely not bother you at all GPW? (I am just wondering. I am not being a dick. I am genuinely curious)

Also, I am really happy for my bud Xessive. He seems to have found a wonderful woman. :)

Offline scottws

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Re: Re: Re: DONT ASK ABOUT FAKE BREASTS EVER
« Reply #7 on: Friday, August 10, 2012, 02:53:20 PM »
Also, I just don't get the "good times" from Scott. It seems like a real high five.

Cultural differences I guess.
It wasn't intended as a high-five. Rather it was more like sarcasm, since this is a mess he got into with a future neighbor.

Offline Pugnate

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Re: DONT ASK ABOUT FAKE BREASTS EVER
« Reply #8 on: Friday, August 10, 2012, 02:57:05 PM »
OK I am strangely glad. :)

Offline Cools!

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Re: DONT ASK ABOUT FAKE BREASTS EVER
« Reply #9 on: Friday, August 10, 2012, 04:50:06 PM »
Oh gpw.... :P

Offline gpw11

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Re: Re: DONT ASK ABOUT FAKE BREASTS EVER
« Reply #10 on: Friday, August 10, 2012, 09:31:09 PM »
Boom!  Q&A time.

Good times.

I don't have much to add other than I hate fake boobs. Sometimes fake boobs can look great under a shirt but they are just alien and gross naked. That's why I never understood why they are so popular with strippers and porn stars, the very last group of women that I think should get them.

I've never actually noticed visually.  Well, not with someone I've been sleeping with. I have seen really bad jobs on strippers and porn stars though.

You were in the bedroom with her. Whatever went on in there, and she liked... well that was sex. It was about getting off. If she liked her ass being slapped, or herself called a 'slut', it was something that made her enjoy the sex more.

She seems like she is sensitive about the breast thing. I don't know. Try to be understanding?


Oh, I totally understand the difference. That was kind of a joke.  And obviously she is sensitive about it (which honestly is kind of weird), but there's a way to handle that and it's "Sorry, it's a sensitive subject" or "I'd rather not talk about that". Honestly, if I had a tattoo of a bear fucking an eagle on my back, I'd expect some chick to ask me about it after we fucked.  It's kind of the same thing - there's this obvious thing about you right in front of someone else's face.  They're going to ask.

Girl:  Is that a bear fucking an eagle?
Guy: Yup.
Girl:  Wow.
Guy: Yup.
Girl:  When'd you get that?
Guy:  Honestly, I don't really want to talk about it.
Girl: Okay.  Do you like Milkshakes?
Guy: DO I EVER!

It's not like I was prying into some deeply personal aspect of her.  I suspected the breast was fake, I asked if it was.  At any time she could have said it's a little too personal.


Cultural differences I guess. I feel bad for her that you are talking about her that way outside of when you were intimate, but I am sure she knew she was getting into it with a man slut (that's not supposed to be an insult. Just an observation.)


I wouldn't feel bad for her. Also, talking about her in what way?  Like, in that post?  It probably is a cultural difference for sure, but chances are she's said far, far worse things. Honestly, get a group of girls together and get them to start talking about guys that they've slept with and you will hear shit.  CRAZY SHIT.  Women can probably outpace men when it comes to kissing and telling. Also, about saying really bad shit about dudes they've been intimate with.


Are you going to go about this all your life? Do you not want to have real intimacy with someone? Are you incapable of it? (Not a criticism. Just an observation. I am not saying your lifestyle is bad or good.)

Serious question. Have you ever made love to someone as opposed to fucking them?

All my life?  Probably not.

Do I want to have real intimacy? It could be nice, but it's not necessarily a life goal for me. And yes, there is a possibility that I may be incapable of it, I suppose.

Have I ever made love to someone as opposed to fucking them?  It depends what you mean.  Like a difference in action compared to a difference in emotion. But yes, I probably have. Maybe.  I think I may have been confused though (seriously).

I find it funny that this apparently comes after sex in the relationship timeline.


I know, right!?  That was my point. If I take my shirt off in front of you, yes you can ask about my pacemaker scar. Well, I don't actually have a pacemaker scar (yet), but you get the point. Also, no one has ever had any sort of problem like this. I'm seriously sticking to my guns that this girl was acting two standard deviations out of the ordinary.




Everything

BAHAHAHa.

hahahaha...

We've been watching GPW post about his entertaining sexcapades for a while. I am starting to feel sorry for these women. Is this what they are looking for? Some guy who masturbates inside them, and then mocks them while sharing sex stories with buds? Is this how it is?


Haha. I wouldn't feel sorry for anyone.  No one is being wronged here and I'm not strictly using anyone for sex.  I'm not pretending I'm more into anyone than I am and I'm not misleading anyone. If anything, I'm usually the one who's more cautious because I'm worried about how the other person may feel down the road and don't want there to be any misconceptions.  If I'm into a chick I'll tell her, and if I'm unsure, I'll usually tell her. I'm not taking a girl out on five dates, charming her, sleeping with her, and then never calling her again (although this has happened to a point, but for unrelated reasons). At the very worst, I'll tell a girl that it just wasn't working out for me after. Which is legitimate - if you're not sexually compatible with someone you're not going to be as into them. I'm also not going into any of these situations thinking "I'm going to fuck this chick and get out".  Well, that's a lie - I have done that before, but in situations where they've been thinking the exact same thing. If everything goes swell, and things go further, great, but I'm not faking it and I'm not forcing it.

I also don't know if you'd say I masturbate inside them. That's just gross.  But yes, if there's a story I'll probably share it and I expect them to do the same. And, more than likely, they do.

Quote
So I wonder if that's not truly for GPW, or if he is simply afraid of going there?


I wouldn't say that I'm afraid, but I can find something wrong with pretty much anyone. It could be a subconscious thing.

Quote
I think that woman GPW posted about, who had a bad previous relationship, and wanted to take time to see where things go. I think she sounded pretty nice. Maybe for a change GPW can look for a different sort of girlfriend. Someone who wants to be in a committed relationship before physical intimacy.

That's not really how the story went. She actually had a string of bad previous relationships, and did indeed want to take time to see where things went.  And I was totally fine with that. I was actually more fine with it than she was, as it ended up being me holding out on her a bit. The issue wasn't that she wanted to be in a committed relationship before physical intimacy, it was that all of a sudden she was on the fence about an ex who was giving her a hard time and basically wanted me to wait in the wings while she sorted it out. And I tried to be fine with that but ultimately wasn't - not because it meant I wasn't banging her, but because I was too invested in her.  I was totally free to be banging other chicks during this time period, so that wasn't an issue. In retrospect the best thing to do would have been to walk rather than pretend that I was somewhat cool with it, and ultimately at the end of the day, how things turned out ended up being her call, not mine.  I was completely open with her, "this is how I feel, this is why, blah blah". It wasn't simply a case of her wanting to take things slow and me throwing my arms up in the air and saying "fuck this". Honestly, I don't really think she was being honest in at least some respect, but it doesn't really matter.

Quote
I am just interested. Do you feel at all empty with this lifestyle, or does it absolutely not bother you at all GPW? (I am just wondering. I am not being a dick. I am genuinely curious)

No offence taken at all to any of your questions - I totally see where you're coming from. Do I feel empty?  Not really.  Most of the time. I'm never opposed to something deeper, and I've been involved with things that are deeper, but, like I said, I'm not going to force it and the majority of the time, things just don't click. That said, I'm still going to sex a chick up if she wants to get sexed up, and I'm going to do it without misleading anyone.  I don't see anything wrong with that - I'm probably just a really picky mother fucker.


Quote
It wasn't intended as a high-five. Rather it was more like sarcasm, since this is a mess he got into with a future neighbor.

Oh, trust me, I'll PROBABLY smooth this over if I interact with this chick fairly often.  Like, I'm obviously never going to sleep with her again, but it probably won't end up awkward and weird. Realistically, her thinking I'm kind of an asshole for asking about her fake breasts is better in that regard than the alternative of her feeling at all rejected. It's kind of a win-win for everyone.

I will field any further questions.







Offline Cobra951

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Re: DONT ASK ABOUT FAKE BREASTS EVER
« Reply #11 on: Saturday, August 11, 2012, 05:57:56 AM »
Quote
I'm still going to sex a chick up if she wants to get sexed up, and I'm going to do it without misleading anyone.  I don't see anything wrong with that . . .

Nutshell?  I agree, by the way.  Nothing wrong with that.  Adults, consensual, freedom, and all that.

Offline Pugnate

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Re: DONT ASK ABOUT FAKE BREASTS EVER
« Reply #12 on: Saturday, August 11, 2012, 10:08:34 AM »
Nutshell?  I agree, by the way.  Nothing wrong with that.  Adults, consensual, freedom, and all that.

No nothing wrong with that.

Offline gpw11

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Re: DONT ASK ABOUT FAKE BREASTS EVER
« Reply #13 on: Saturday, August 11, 2012, 12:29:36 PM »
Lame.  I wanted more questions

Offline Quemaqua

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Re: DONT ASK ABOUT FAKE BREASTS EVER
« Reply #14 on: Saturday, August 11, 2012, 12:44:26 PM »
I've always found that logic a touch flawed. Lots of people make bad decisions. And yes, someone may simply say yes, and you may say yes too, which makes it all seem equal, but that doesn't make you any better a person. Just because something is consensual doesn't mean you aren't being a fucking creep.

Which is no commentary on this situation or gpw in particular. Just a thought. The world would be a nicer place if people had more personal responsibility than, "She let me fuck her, what's the big deal?"

天才的な閃きと平均以下のテクニックやな。 課長有野

Offline gpw11

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Re: DONT ASK ABOUT FAKE BREASTS EVER
« Reply #15 on: Saturday, August 11, 2012, 01:44:42 PM »
That's legit, although I can't say that I entirely agree. People do certainly make bad decisions, but you can't really hold yourself accountable for that as long as you're not being manipulative or taking advantage of them.   I'm certainly not pressuring any girls for sex these days, if anything, it's probably more the opposite. 

If someone's all like "I really want to give you $1000 for your birthday", I'm probably not going to question it too much if they're a functioning adult. I'm also not really going to feel about taking it.


Offline Pugnate

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Re: DONT ASK ABOUT FAKE BREASTS EVER
« Reply #16 on: Saturday, August 11, 2012, 02:04:33 PM »
I have more questions. I will ask them later. I guess this was less about any one case in particular, and more about what you want from relationships. What about love?

I do agree that there are plenty of women who can have emotionless sex out there, and I guess there is nothing wrong with two people hooking up in that situation. It doesn't really seem like you are taking advantage of them, and from what you tell us about these women's relationship records, it doesn't seem like they are the example of women I am thinking of..

But those who make bad decisions will probably be affected badly and left feeling like crap hooking up with a guy looking for something very different.

Offline Quemaqua

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Re: DONT ASK ABOUT FAKE BREASTS EVER
« Reply #17 on: Saturday, August 11, 2012, 07:10:10 PM »
It was really more directed to Cobra, gpw. He often touts the whole "consensual adults" thing, but I always wonder how a man with multiple daughters could be so quick to jump on that bandwagon. Consensual doesn't mean smart. Human beings consent to doing a lot dumb shit that ends up being horrible for them. And yeah, that's totally the fault of whoever is doing it... but I'd like to think that some people are compassionate enough to take the high road even if it means they aren't going to get laid that night. You know? If you can see a girl is hurting and about to do something she'll probably regret, put on the brakes. Lots of guys see that as a massive green light because it means a sure thing, but fuck that. If I had a daughter, I'd be very grateful to see a guy put a stop to it if he could tell that she was wasted, depressed, clearly making a bad decision, whatever, even if she was perfectly willing to screw his brains out.

Again, not commentary on this in particular. Just a thought about people in general.

天才的な閃きと平均以下のテクニックやな。 課長有野

Offline Cobra951

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Re: DONT ASK ABOUT FAKE BREASTS EVER
« Reply #18 on: Saturday, August 11, 2012, 09:25:19 PM »
And I can't understand how anyone who grew up in a free society could believe that one rigid moral code should be imposed on everyone.

Consider the possibility that to a lot of people, sex is recreation, and no more taboo than laughing out loud at good jokes.  It's just sex, not torture or murder.  Saying that it's bad or dumb is strictly a value judgment, one you are only entitled to make for yourself.

Leave my children out of this, please.

Offline Xessive

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Re: DONT ASK ABOUT FAKE BREASTS EVER
« Reply #19 on: Saturday, August 11, 2012, 09:32:23 PM »
Does that include me? I've always considered a cyber-father figure, Cobra! :P

Sex is great but I can't deny it has some potential life-changing consequences (good or bad). Different cultures have different values and perspectives on the subject. Our little melting pot here on OW represents a convergence of each of our views on it. Without bringing up the "mosaic cliché," I love that we intersect in such amazing ways.

GPW's escapades never fail to entertain and enlighten!

Offline JacksRag(e)

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Re: DONT ASK ABOUT FAKE BREASTS EVER
« Reply #20 on: Sunday, August 12, 2012, 01:31:56 AM »
I wouldn't agree particularly with EVER.  The girls I know who've had fake breasts are generally very proud of them and don't mind showing them off or being asked about them. 

Offline Quemaqua

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Re: DONT ASK ABOUT FAKE BREASTS EVER
« Reply #21 on: Sunday, August 12, 2012, 07:13:41 AM »
When did I say anything about a rigid moral code? I was clearly talking about basic human decency.

天才的な閃きと平均以下のテクニックやな。 課長有野

Offline Pugnate

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Re: DONT ASK ABOUT FAKE BREASTS EVER
« Reply #22 on: Sunday, August 12, 2012, 08:16:38 AM »
What does imposing your will, born in a free society, and morale code have to do with this? Is that how you were looking at my questions? I think Cobra has a real hard on for this freedom stuff and it clouds his view on a lot of these discussions where it has no room. :p I hope you didn't see my questions as some Muslim influenced nonsense because that would be a pity. :p

We were just talking really. I know guys and girls like gpw both cultures, and I know many on this forum who think like me, so culture has nothing to do with it. Furthermore no one, not even Que, was imposing anything. We were giving our points of view. Women who are often hurting make bad decisions in order to find some intimacy and guys taking advantage is wrong.

This has nothing to do with gpw. He is a standup guy. Just a general view.

At the same time it seems like the daughters comment riled up cobra, which is a little understandable because it seemed a bit too personal.

Offline Pugnate

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Re: DONT ASK ABOUT FAKE BREASTS EVER
« Reply #23 on: Thursday, August 16, 2012, 04:16:13 AM »
Just wanted to say I was joking about the 'masturbates inside them'. It sounds harsh. Apologies.

Offline gpw11

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Re: DONT ASK ABOUT FAKE BREASTS EVER
« Reply #24 on: Thursday, August 16, 2012, 11:03:18 PM »
Hahaha. It sounds gross, not overly harsh.  Lets not kid ourselves here: sometimes I just masturbate on them.


Offline Cobra951

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Re: DONT ASK ABOUT FAKE BREASTS EVER
« Reply #25 on: Thursday, August 16, 2012, 11:50:33 PM »
. . .

At the same time it seems like the daughters comment riled up cobra, which is a little understandable because it seemed a bit too personal.

I saw nothing but red at that point.  Do not bring my girls into any critiques of me.  God knows I deserve a good tongue lashing now and then, but they sure as shit don't figure into any of it.  Do not ever bring them in here.  Fair warning.

Offline Pugnate

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Re: DONT ASK ABOUT FAKE BREASTS EVER
« Reply #26 on: Friday, August 17, 2012, 12:02:53 AM »
So I heard you have daughters. I heard you suck at games because of them.

*runs*

:P

Offline Cobra951

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Re: DONT ASK ABOUT FAKE BREASTS EVER
« Reply #27 on: Friday, August 17, 2012, 12:07:11 AM »

Offline Pugnate

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Re: DONT ASK ABOUT FAKE BREASTS EVER
« Reply #28 on: Friday, August 17, 2012, 12:21:05 AM »
hahahahahahahahaaha

Offline Quemaqua

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Re: DONT ASK ABOUT FAKE BREASTS EVER
« Reply #29 on: Friday, August 17, 2012, 01:09:36 AM »
And for the record, I didn't bring anyone into anything, no more than you've done yourself in the past. I simply mentioned the fact that you have daughters, which is already common knowledge, as that status relates to your viewpoint. There's no need to get defensive. We're your friends, or at least I'd hoped so.

天才的な閃きと平均以下のテクニックやな。 課長有野

Offline Pugnate

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Re: DONT ASK ABOUT FAKE BREASTS EVER
« Reply #30 on: Friday, August 17, 2012, 01:11:17 AM »

Offline Cobra951

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Re: DONT ASK ABOUT FAKE BREASTS EVER
« Reply #31 on: Friday, August 17, 2012, 01:24:42 AM »
And for the record, I didn't bring anyone into anything, no more than you've done yourself in the past. I simply mentioned the fact that you have daughters, which is already common knowledge, as that status relates to your viewpoint. There's no need to get defensive. We're your friends, or at least I'd hoped so.

Yes indeed.


Offline Cools!

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Re: DONT ASK ABOUT FAKE BREASTS EVER
« Reply #32 on: Friday, August 17, 2012, 10:10:32 AM »
Yeah that was a weird fact to just bring up...

Offline ren

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Re: DONT ASK ABOUT FAKE BREASTS EVER
« Reply #33 on: Friday, August 17, 2012, 04:21:02 PM »
If I had daughters, I would want them to have healthy sex lives with healthy being defined on their own terms. The whole viewpoint of sex objectifying women and the social taboo of acknowledging that your daughters or sisters or whoever are sexual beings like everybody else does more damage than the alternative.

Offline Pugnate

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Re: DONT ASK ABOUT FAKE BREASTS EVER
« Reply #34 on: Friday, August 17, 2012, 04:52:02 PM »
In my experience, regardless of culture, women and men are different. That's biologically speaking. It has nothing to do with taboos or religion. It is far easier for men to have sex without emotional attachment.

It would be nice to get a woman's perspective, rather than a group of guys speculating. :P

Offline ren

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Re: DONT ASK ABOUT FAKE BREASTS EVER
« Reply #35 on: Friday, August 17, 2012, 04:58:57 PM »
It would be nice to get a woman's perspective, rather than a group of guys speculating. :P

Right, that's what I was (poorly) trying to get at. The fact that a group of guys are discussing what does and doesn't wrong women is a bit superfluous. They're able to make their own choices, for better or for worse. We don't need to understand them as long as we respect them.

Offline ren

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Re: DONT ASK ABOUT FAKE BREASTS EVER
« Reply #36 on: Friday, August 17, 2012, 05:08:06 PM »
Also, props to gpw for his sheer honesty and inability to get angry at potentially offensive questions. Two fantastic traits.

Offline Pugnate

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Re: DONT ASK ABOUT FAKE BREASTS EVER
« Reply #37 on: Saturday, August 18, 2012, 08:56:11 AM »
Yikes @ potentially offensive questions.

Offline gpw11

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Re: DONT ASK ABOUT FAKE BREASTS EVER
« Reply #38 on: Tuesday, August 21, 2012, 10:57:04 PM »
Also, props to gpw for his sheer honesty and inability to get angry at potentially offensive questions. Two fantastic traits.

Props received.  Pound fist.