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CALAMITY JOHN: THE UNLUCKIEST MAN IN THE UK?AFTER FIVE DECADES OF CLOSE ESCAPES, JOHN LYNE IS STILL HERE TO TELL THE TALE..By Michelle RawlinsHE'S been struck by lightning twice, had three car crashes, nearly drowned and suffered numerous broken bones - John Lyne deserves the title of the UK's unluckiest man."Nobody believes me when I tell them everything that's happened to me. My wife laughs that my time should have been up years ago. Sometimes I'm amazed I'm still here," says John, 54.But instead of feeling self-pity, John is still surprisingly positive and reckons things could have been far worse.John, an industrial cleaner, explains: "After all the scenarios I've been involved in, I could have had more serious injuries or even died."So I count my blessings that I'm still here. Someone is looking after me." John's long-suffering wife, Susan, 52, also a cleaner, dreads the sound of the phone ringing as it's often about her husband having another accident.She says: "He is like a cat with nine lives, only his chances were up long ago. Wherever he goes or whatever he does, you can guarantee trouble isn't far away."He is just so clumsy and accident prone that I've got used to the scrapes and knocks he suffers. Nothing he does surprises me any more."Born unlucky?DOCTORS feared John wouldn't survive as he was born with under-developed lungs and needed steroids.John says: "It really upset mum and she never talked about it much."But that was just the start of mum Gwen's worries and John's problems.As a toddler he drank a bottle of disinfectant and had his stomach pumped in hospital. He also had to drink lots of water to flush the cleaner out of his system.Wheely closeA YEAR later his grandad took him for a ride on his horse and cart. Somehow John fell off in the road.His panic-stricken grandad shouted at him to freeze as a furniture delivery van ran over the top of him, its heavy wheels narrowly missing him on either side."I just had a few cuts and bruises," chuckles John, of Doncaster, South Yorks. "But I don't know how I survived that. That's what I mean when I say I am lucky."Hair-raisingFOR a few years John didn't give his parents any worries but all that changed when he was 12.He was cycling home when a storm appeared from nowhere and lightning struck his bike.The electric current shot through his body, making his hair stand on end. Terrified, John dumped his bike and refused to go back for it.That sinking feelingAT 14, John had a bad year, even for him. Firstly, he nearly drowned while swimming in the sea at Bridlington, North Yorks. "I remember fighting against the waves and not having the strength to get back to the shore," he recalls."I thought I was a gonner but somehow the water carried me until I could touch the ground. But it knocked the stuffing out of me."I still love swimming but now I'll never go out of my depth."A few months later, John was climbing a tree when he fell, hitting every branch on the way down.He escaped unscathed but that wasn't enough to discourage him. Not long afterwards - on Friday the 13th - he fell out of another tree, this time breaking his arm.Gwen, now 75, took John to hospital but was told to bring him back the next day for the arm to be put in plaster.But the following morning John's bus crashed into a lorry and he was flung from his seat. When they finally reached the hospital doctors discovered he'd broken a second bone in his arm."At least it was same arm," laughs John. "It would have been much worse if both had ended up in plaster!"Cata-pulpedJOHN suffered at the hands of his friends when he was 16. "There was a group of us swimming in the local canal," remembers John."I was just about to dive in off a bridge when one of my mates fired a stone from a catapult, which accidentally hit me hard on the mouth."John lost eight teeth, which had to be replaced with false ones.But, ever optimistic, he says: "Although I was annoyed, if it had hit me a few inches higher I could have lost an eye, so I escaped quite lightly."His friends led him into trouble again when he was 18. This time he was a passenger in his friend's car when they lost control going round a bend.The car somersaulted, landing upside down in a field. Both John and his friend had to be cut out of the car, but walked away unscathed.Life's the pitsWHEN John started working at Hatfield Colliery, South Yorks, digging tunnels, he nearly lost his life not once, but twice.He was inches away from being killed by falling rocks and later a mate let go of a tub full of stone they were pulling."It fell towards me and I only just managed to move out of the way."It scraped over the top of my fingers, ripping several nails off. A couple of them have never grown back properly."After the pit closed, John became an industrial cleaner at a car plant, hoping it would be a safer environment.But in 1993, he was working on the roof. As he tried to climb back down through the hatch, the ladders moved and he crashed to the floor, breaking several ribs.And it wasn't just at work that John was unlucky. One afternoon, he was shopping when a double decker bus came too close to the kerb and knocked him over."When I rang Susan to tell her, she was flabbergasted," says John."But I was just relieved I wasn't any nearer the road, otherwise I could have been completely wiped out."Instead, all I had to show for it was a nasty bruise on my arm."Crash courseAPART from a clumsy DIY accident when he hit a live electricity cable while decorating, John enjoyed a relatively peaceful time as he got older.But five years ago, John and Susan were travelling home in a taxi from the airport, after two blissfully accident-free weeks on the Greek island of Zante.It was the early hours of the morning and the driver fell asleep at the wheel, causing the taxi to veer off the road.John, who was in the passenger seat, grabbed the wheel and managed to get the cab back under control and woke the driver up.John recalls: "It was just fortunate I hadn't fallen asleep too, otherwise I dread to think what the consequences would have been."And their holiday to Greece this year wasn't plain sailing either.Shortly after taking off to fly home their plane was hit by lightning.Fortunately, there was no damage and everyone escaped unhurt.Then, not long afterwards - again on Friday the 13th - John had another accident at work.This time he fell through an open inspection hatch, seriously damaging his back and injuring his left leg and knee. He is currently using a stick to help him walk."I dread to think what the future holds," John says. "I've had so many lucky escapes, I'm not sure how many more I can walk away from."I don't know anyone else who is as unlucky as me. I seem to lurch from one unfortunate event after the other."A few accidents have fallen on Friday the 13th so I worry every time it comes round. If anything bad is going to happen, I'll be at the centre of it!"
