It's been a couple of months since the first components arrived but I finally got everything together, up and running.
I put this baby together during a period in which I was the perfect balance between technological excitement and depression.
On to the exciting part, the specs:
CPU: Intel Core i7 5930 (5th Gen)
CPU Cooling: CoolerMaster Seidon 240M Hybrid Liquid Cooling
GPU: Nvidia Titan X 12GB GDDR5
PSU: CoolerMaster M2 1500W
Mobo: Asus Rampage V Extreme Edition (X99)
RAM: 48GB DDR4 2800 MHz (32GB Corsair Vengeance LPX DDR4 + 16 GB Adata DDR4)
Case: SilverStone TJ10 Temjin
I actually got 64GB of RAM but the last 16GB dimms turned out damaged, so I set them aside until the store can replace them.
Titan X arriving:
Lights on:
Lights off:
I feel an explanation is necessary, particularly for some of the overkill parts (namely the Titan X). I was toying around with the idea of building a new machine and initially I was planning on setting up a gaming rig with the GeForce 980 or 980 Ti in mind. Now, this was during the time I was courting this girl whom I had been planning to marry. I use the term courting because technically that's precisely what we were doing, we were both in it for the
win inevitable marriage. She was a very traditional, conservative Egyptian woman, with a lot to frown about in my comparatively outlandish lifestyle. Naturally, during such a time I dropped these thoughts of technological whimsy to the back of my mind because, hey, I had to save for a wedding! I saved like a squirrel saves for the winter.
I was deeply in love and ready to face my destiny. It seems fate had other plans because it all fell apart one piece at a time. She insisted that a lot of what I considered normal was frowned upon in her family and society. Merely having female friends was a slap in the face of the institution of marriage. Staying out late with friends was discouraged but permissible given an appropriate occasion. I felt like I was trying to acclimate to living in the town from Footloose.
As the rose-colored glasses I wore began to fade, so did the the fiery love I had for the woman with whom I intended to spend the rest of my life. I persevered, assuming it was a natural phenomenon; nothing can stay exciting forever, right? I stuck with it. I did everything like I was supposed to, as any gentleman would. But I was changing. I was "becoming a man" I uttered to myself convincingly.
Despite all the expectations, I couldn't shake the feeling that something was not right. While in my mind I believed I was becoming a better "me" everyone around seemed concerned. My family would often ask if "things are alright" or if "this is what I want." It was clear that I wasn't myself. I was apathetic, demoralized, often appearing somewhat sickly or exhausted. I shrugged it off as lack of sleep or general pre-marital stress. I was delusional.
I decided to analyze what was happening to me objectively (or at least as objective as it possibly can be, given the personal nature of the relationship and how deep in I was). Gradually, I began to notice all the things that I consciously and subconsciously put in place to enact the radical changes in my personality and my overall state. I was sacrificing a very large chunk of who I am to make it work. To cut it short, I was bending over backwards for this woman to make the relationship happen. As I later uncovered, she felt she was sacrificing a lot by accepting me despite my sinful lifestyle; she was going to change me to be a better man, a God-fearing man.
I'm already a God-fearing man, so this notion struck a chord with me. I don't consider myself particularly religious but much of what I do often involves thoughts of God and love. I respect God and I understand the guilt I feel when I do something selfish. I don't act with the thought that God will throw me into Hell with every action I take. My religion is positive attitude, not fear. With that in mind, how far into Hell was I willing to go for this woman? No further. I had to talk to her. I had to put a stop to the madness. She took in the information about how I was feeling and then she snapped at me. She may have been going through what I was experiencing as well, because she went for the gold with the cussing, followed by an Emmy award-winning emotional collapse. We argued and then left. It was over.
Unexpectedly, I felt no remorse. I didn't fall into a depressed state. I felt liberated. I was surprised by my own emotional reaction. I went home to sleep on it. I woke up the next morning feeling like a weight had been lifted off me and I was ready to right the wrongs. I took a chunk of what I had saved and promised myself a new rig. The best part? I followed through on that promise and I put in the extra to go all out, going so far as to get a frickin' $999 USD graphics card, the Titan X. No regrets.
A couple of days later she called, apologetic, and wanting to get back together. I accepted her apology but I told her there was no way I was going back. If she wants me she can move forward with me and lose the judgemental attitude because I am not allowing that shit back into my life.
This particular incident helped reflect and realize that almost every major purchase I've ever made was immediately following a break-up. First big screen TV, first gaming laptop, first home entertainment center, damn. When I'm depressed I go shopping.
